In any case to describe the story, I was talking to her about how I didn't think these friends were the greatest. With the attitude that teenagers all have down to a fine art, she grumpily said "my friends don't change what I do". She believed it with all the fervor that a teenager can muster. The next day she was arrested with her friends for shoplifting.
I go back to a little mission that began for me when I was talking to a friend who told me about the greek stoics. He said they believed that what happens to you is neither good nor bad, it just is. What is good or bad is how you respond to it. It's a concept very much worth thinking about.
Since that time, I've seen where I believe that is wisdom. An event that makes one person bitter, makes another better. One chooses anger, another chooses strength and peace. My lovely wife just experienced that. She was reaching for a very high rank in her business - something that about one percent of one percent reach. Yeah - it's a pretty big deal. As a result of that huge reach, she had one person get angry, tell her she was stealing from everyone else, and that she was dishonest etc. Of course Julie was hurt to the core, offended, and deeply saddened. I warned her to not let the drama take her away from what she needed to be doing, but the thing blew up among her team.
Of course Julie had done everything right, covered her bases, been completely open and transparent, and did nothing to take anything away from anybody. Her day, every day, is spent in giving. That is why she succeeds.
But what I hoped for, for Julie, happened. She not only didn't get angry and send poison messages, but she simply felt sadness and love for the person sending the hate. She didn't let the drama put her in a swamp of poison and take away her precious time. Admittedly, I did see it suck a lot of energy away from her - energy she needed desperately to be doing other things. But out of it all she gained greatness, love, personal peace and general awesomeness. She accomplished another important step to becoming the powerful and amazing woman that the rest of us already know she is.
I see this in my own stuff as well. Sometimes when things don't go as I planned, I have to remind myself that I'm not always in control, and if things go another way, that might be the path that I should accept - and then move forward - understanding that it may be the Lord's hand.
Now for the scripture. In Alma 62, it talks about the wars with the bad guys - the Lamanites. It also talks about the wars with the other bad guys within the group that should be the good guys. As always, it clearly describes that it's most important to deal with the inner demons than the outer ones. One might say, "well, I'll fight this outer battle and then work on myself when I have time". Negative. No. In many or perhaps most cases, outer battles occur when the inner self is not pure. This is what happened with the Nephites at this time.
In verse 41, it describes the after effects of the war. It had been a long war, where the bad guys had taken a lot of land, and spilled a lot of Nephite blood. It had taken blood, starvation, and the loss of a lot of good lives because the Nephite inner vessel wasn't clean. Finally it ends. Verse 41: "But behold, because of the exceedly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God...".
Now that I type that, I see the same phrase twice. This might be the center of a chiasm, but I'm not going to go searching for it. I'm doing something else right now.
What I do see is that "many had become hardened", and "many were softened". Actually that's probably the second leg of the chiasm, but I'm going elsewhere.
Where I'm going is this: the same event - the war - caused some to be hardened, and some to be softened. The same event. It wasn't the war that causes hardness, it's our choices. It's us. This horrific event still isn't, as the stoics would say, evil by itself, it just is. What's good or evil is how we respond to it.
Of course there are extremely evil people who cause all kinds of damage, and they will pay whatever price the Lord determines for their actions, but that doesn't mean that we are controlled by their choices. We can still choose greatness - or not - for ourselves.
And Helaman knew this. I think it's awesome that after things get smoothed over, the war is won, and life is good, Helaman doesn't get comfortable. In verse 45, "Therefore, Helaman and his brethren went forth, and did declare the word of God with much power unto the convincing of many people of their wickedness...". The time for cleansing the vessel is not just for when there is crisis - it's for all the time. That way you can either avoid the crisis altogether or make its length and effects much less damaging.
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul. - Wm Henley
I believe that greatness is gained when we wrest control and responsibility of our lives from those who we have given it to improperly. If anyone but the Lord is captain of our ship, it will flounder and sink. May we first completely own our own souls, then give it to the Lord. Greatness awaits.
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