Working on the words of Alma and Zeezrom today. The back story, to be brief, is that Alma was the chief judge, or the equivalent of the king/president of his nation. He gave it up to preach the word of God to his people as he believed (or was guided to understand) that he could better serve his people by preaching the gospel to them than by sitting in the capital.
So he shows up, starving, in the city where Zeezrom lived. Zeezrom had been notified by God's messsenger that Alma was coming. He fed Alma, then was fed by him.
Alma 10:5, Zeezrom talking about what he learned. "...I never have known much of the ways of the lord and his mysteries..." then he corrects himself. Corrections in scripture don't happen much, but Zeezrom does just that - "I mistake, for I have seen much of his mysteries and his marvelous power" and in verse 6 he explains the difference "I did harden my heart, for I was called many times and I woulds not hear; therefore I knew concerning these things, yet I would not know...:"
The thought occurs to me: how often do we say we wish to know more of the mysteries of God, yet we will not allow God to provide that? How often do we envy someone else for more spiritual knowledge, strength of soul, and wish we had that, yet refuse to allow it to happen?
Because I was in the meth remediation business for a number of years, I always go to the meth head. Not intending to pick on them directly, but I've seen many of them, and what they do to those who enable them. Most noticeably, I see what they do to their homes. I have seen what they do to their wives and children, and people who they profess to love. I feel the evil in the homes they inhabited. For this reason, I go to the meth head as the best example to me as someone who might say "well yeah, if God showed up with an angel today, I'd be an apostle too". They think if God does, then they will. And it doesn't work that way. They still wouldn't, and they'd be further condemned as they had another witness against them.
But it's not just meth heads. How many of us, including me, yearn for greater spiritual depth, yet show up to church late, skip prayers or allow them to be less than a full conversation. How many of us allow ourselves to be tainted by what's around us because we like it? I know I certainly fit in that category. I am the person who says he wants more, but when the Lord tries to give it to us, we don't really want it. We all are in this place to some degree. The Lord gives us as much as we're ready for, and no less.
Here's an interesting insight for how the Lord sees things. He explains his insight by explaining what he'll allow his earthly servants to do in his name. Alma 12:9 "...they are laid under a strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him. And verse 10 "...he that will not harden his heart, to him is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full"
To use a personal example, I play ultimate frisbee a lot. I've been playing it for many years, with guys who have also played for many years. We know what to do and when. Then you get some guy who is starting, and often they are very athletic. I'm old and slow, but I can throw. I see these guys get behind their defender and look at me like "are you going to throw it to me long?" It really frustrates me. Countless times I've told people "you run first, and then I'll throw it. I need to know what direction you're going, and how fast you're getting there - then I'll throw it." I see this in end zone plays as well. Guys have the corner of the end zone all theirs. They are a step in front of their defender, and the play is a lay up. All he has to do is run to the open corner, and it's a score. Instead, they look at me. Do you see the opening? Are you going to throw it there? Of course I do. Sometimes I throw it to the obvious location, and it's a turnover because they were looking at me and hoping I'd throw it rather than break to the location where the opening was.
May we all go to the open spot. Full speed so the Lord knows what he can deliver to us. The field may be wide open, but if we go half speed, he'll throw something that we can get at half speed. Given that the Lord won't throw turnovers, it's up to us to prevent turnovers by committing ourselves.
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