Perspective

So I picked up my scriptures today, a bit saddened that I'm done with what I consider to be my scriptural passion - the gifts and mysteries of God. I picked another subject, but then I couldn't do it. Back to just book of Mormon reading for me - at least for now. I love the tone, the simplicity, and the spiritual power of the words.

So it turns out that the man Mormon, for whom the Book of Mormon is named after, also had a father named Mormon. He was Mormon jr - not something I knew before. A meaningless fact for sure, but hey - it's new to me.

As I'm reading this, I'm thinking "who in the pre-existence (spiritual life before this mortal life) would have wanted or volunteered to be Mormon? It had to be someone very strong spiritually, but such a person might want instead to be born in more spiritual, more gifted times, when the spirit of the Lord is spread out among the people, and he simply has to guide them forward? Who would volunteer to be the leader of a people who would not be lead forward? His role for the vast majority of his life was to sit atop the crowd and watch them die. Like a birds eye view of a train wreck. Only this train wreck was the destruction of an entire race of people.

In what might be one of the biggest understatements in the history of the world, Mormon states "And I, being fifteen years of age and somewhat of a sober mind..." " ...notwithstanding I being young, was large in stature, therefore the people of Nephi appointed me that I should be their leader, or the leader of their armies". (Mormon 1:16 and Mormon 2:1)

Yeah. It was because he was a big guy. I don't think so. It was because they knew that they had always done well when they had a man of God as their leader. The irony and their downfall was that this time, they put the man in the leadership slot, but they didn't follow his advice. In a way, it's a false religion to say "yeah - we're the good guys - just look at that thing over there. That proves we're God's team".

It's not the thing over there. It's us. It's our lives and who we are. When asked about God in our life and the power of our own personal structure, the person who answers must not point to anywhere but his own soul as proof of being a follower. No statue, no exterior person, no idol, no display, no lumping yourself in with others in a group under any name will be adequate to the Lord or to your own soul. I am who I am because of who I am. Not because I have an idol in my home, or because I use concocted words and phrases that my friends use. Those also may be idols. It may be true that anything that diverts me away from a focus on the strength of my soul and my relationship with my Savior is an idol. As such, any time spent on that idol will not help me at best, and at worst it will cancer my soul.

So as viewed from this corner today, Mormon became somewhat of an idol to the people he led. This is not his fault - he was a true prophet of God. It was the fault of the people he wanted to lead. I thought Mormon 1:16 was powerful "And I did endeavor to preach unto this people, but my mouth was shut, and I was forbidden that I should preach unto them". How sad and enlightening is it to know that people get to a point where the Lord knows that they're better off when they are not preached to, or given gifts or mysteries, because he knows that the gift will be ignored, mistreated, misused or abused. The Lord knows such a gift given would then cause further condemnation on judgment day.

So he allows Mormon to sit on his horse as a leader, and give rousing speeches, and point a direction, but the Lord and Mormon know it's all in vain. They will die because they prefer death to living in the sunshine of a spiritual life. Those people certainly don't exist today, right?

And in Mormon 2:12, Mormon, ever the hopeful leader, sees his people lamenting. With an eye that must have reflected God's vision, he was thrilled about it. He thought something like this: "Finally my people might be turning the corner, lamenting their lives, and ready to follow the Lord once again". He knew the Lord would have been merciful and long suffering. 13 "But behold this my joy was vain, for their sorrowing was not unto repentance...but it was rather the sorrow of the damned, because the Lord would not always suffer them to take happiness in sin"

The Lord's eyes are not our own. Sometimes he gains hope when we have gone down the wrong path and find ourselves in a mud pit. He hopes that we'll decide the mud pit isn't entertaining, and change our path. How terribly disappointing must it be to the Lord when we basically tell him "look, I hate this pit that my life is in, but it's still my choice - and I refuse to allow you to bring light and joy into my life"

Regardless of how well we might think we're doing in our life, the occasional mud pit may be an opportunity to look to God and live. May we do so.