Fruitful in the land of my affliction

An upcoming sunday school lesson is called "fruitful in the land of my affliction" - it's the story of Joseph, and his rise to power in Egypt. For me, it's a lesson in a few subjects: greatness and forgiveness.

It seems to me that most of us consider our titles to indicate our worth. Men are well known for doing this, but perhaps it just varies in the way it's expressed. For example, if a man can say "I'm the CEO of whateverinc.com", then people immediately give him reference and respect. Men all acknowledge that we define ourselves by our job. This of course is false, because we should be defining ourselves by who we are; not our job, our title, our power, our wealth, our race, political agenda, passions, or any other less meaningful measure.

For me, when introduced the temptation may be to say "I'm an engineer and a home inspector. I'm an entrepreneur, and love to play ultimate frisbee". While that will be an acceptable way to introduce myself to others, I believe that it shouldn't define me to myself. Instead, my own definition of me should be something more like "I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. I try daily to serve Him, to identify and develop any gifts he may have given me, and to serve Him by loving my wife, my children, my grandchildren and others who the Lord may place in my path today"

I go back to a huge award that Julie received from Doterra last year. In front of tens of thousands of people at a live event, and many more who were watching online, she received Doterra's highest award for service. This is her greatness. On that day, she was a rock star. People wanted her autograph. Lines formed to take pictures with her. She remains well remembered and respected now, but is she a greater person now than before the award? Perhaps, but it has nothing to do with having received the award. The award didn't create greatness - it acknowledged it. And if she had not received the award she would still be as great in the Lord's eyes - but perhaps not among her peers.

So the question for me is: is greatness defined by peer decision, or is it defined by the Lord? Who are we looking for confirmation from?

This goes me to Joseph. This was a great man not because he was the number two man to the Pharaoh. He was great because he was great. He was great when he was captured and sold to the egyptians. He was great when he was in the slave line being transported to egypt. He was great when he was Potiphar's house. He was great when he was in jail again. He remained great when the people whose dreams he interpreted forgot about him. He was a great man regardless of his title on any given day. Sometimes that title was slave, sometimes it was inmate, and for some time it was Pharaoh's "father" (Gen 45:8). In all cases, Joseph knew who he was, and it had nothing to do with his living conditions.

Joseph tearfully pleaded not to be sold by his brothers. This would be doubly traumatic to anyone - first that you're being ripped away from your family and sold as a slave, and second that your family would do that to you. This alone would normally finish any of us. It didn't dampen Joseph's greatness.

Joseph, through correct living and good choices, gained Potiphar's respect - and the appreciation of Potiphar's wife. He chose to follow the Lord, and had to reject her advances. And what did it net him? Who would say the Lord took care of you, when following the Lord took you away from a good life and landed you in the dungeon? For most of us, that would feel like the Lord abandoned us and cause most of us to become bitter. It didn't dampen Joseph's greatness.

Then there's the dream thing. Joseph correctly interpreted the dreams of the butcher and baker. He didn't take any credit for the interpretation - he deferred that greatness to the Lord. But what did it net him? Nothing at all - for two more years. Two more years of rotting in the dungeon. 700+ more mornings and sunsets in the same rotting sewer. If the Lord's going to let you rot there despite your best efforts, why bother? Right? Even this didn't dampen Joseph's greatness.

Joseph felt deeply the pain from being abandoned by his brothers. It's not like this was easy and he just bumped along, accepting whatever. He felt the pain deeply, but chose to follow and serve the Lord regardless. This - and not his title - is why he owned his own greatness.

Joseph's deception to his brothers wasn't a game of anger and gotcha. He had to cry (Genesis 43:30) when it became too much for him - the feelings were still very raw. But he chose to believe it was all for a higher purpose and had faith in his God - regardless of his conditions.

Inner greatness is real. Outer greatness is only a perception. May we seek inner greatness in ourselves, and in those we surround ourselves with. Finally, may we find inner greatness by serving and forgiving all. We can leave judgement and vengeance to the great judge of all. It's a better way to live happily.

Fathers

It seems that the word of the week for me lately is Father. First, I found a song by Michael Mclean that I'm working with. It turns out I might have a singing voice. I discovered Mclean's song "I am not his father" - a beautiful and touching song - and it turns out I can sing it. It's a gorgeous song about our Father. I've been mulling how I can use the concepts this song brings out when I speak at my own father's funeral. He's 91 and definitely looking forward to his own passing, and I will celebrate with him when our Father finally calls him home.

And this morning I bump along in Moses Chapter 7, and the verse that stands out to me is 37.  "But behold, their sins shall be upon the heads of their fathers; Satan shall be their father, and misery shall be their doom; and the whole heavens shall weep over them, even all the workmanship of mine hands; wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?"

I think this verse applies to those who willfully chose against the truths they knew, and chose to defy the Lord and their own happiness in favor of what there short-term, willful wants were. These individuals not only curse themselves forever, but their children and grandchildren. It happened in the beginning of time, and it happens now. People that get mad because someone was mean to their child, because someone stole the cream, or because a leader proved his imperfectness in public. Maybe it's because someone misused a paragraph. I guess it doesn't matter what the "reason" is - what matters is that we let our own selfishness, spurred by anger, to get in the way of our path toward happiness and eternity.

So, a person drops away from the iron rod - the word of God. He begins to follow what he considers to be his own path - or the path that Satan places him on. He loses his center, his happiness, his direction and his future. Then, his children follow suit.

While it is true that we are all responsible for our own decisions, it's also true that we only get judged for how we play the cards we're dealt. For example, a child in Mozambique, who will never see missionaries or even a member of the lord's church will not be held responsible for not being baptized, obeying all of the commandments, or not receiving temple blessings. They were not available to him. He'll be held responsible for the truths his parents gave him. And on the same note, the parents will be held responsible for the truths they know. Their responsibility is to live them, to expand on them, and to pass them on to their children.

So I believe that when the parents cause a whole community - generations after generations - of their family to flounder, it is the parents who will some day be held responsible. This goes me back to the verse above "But behold, their sins shall be upon the heads of their fathers".

Can you imagine how much dark poison will be heaped upon Cane for what he caused his progeny to suffer? And how much different is it for us as we choose improperly?

I guess the saving grace is Grace. Christ has paid the price. Cane's progeny suffered in life because of Cane's choices - but that's on Cane. If their hearts are pure, as judged by the only perfect judge, they can be saved.

I remember my parents telling me that. My mom especially because I interacted with her the most. She told me that it was her job to teach me, so that she wouldn't be held responsible for holding me back from happiness. She did teach me. My father as well. While certainly not perfect, they did as well as they could do - they played the cards they were dealt as well as they could. I'm grateful for them and I honor them.

If the word of the week is Fathers, I'm hopeful for my dad that his time has come. In any case, may we look at our roles and evaluate if we are ready to stand before the great Judge, and report on our role as fathers and leaders. And may our Father judge us with love.

Wresting and Wrestling

Somedays are like that. Yesterday I comfortably read for a while. This time, I couldn't finish the first paragraph before I felt compelled to stop reading and find my keyboard. I guess the rest of the inspiration will have to happen in front of the screen. 

I'm in Alma Chapter 41 today. Verse 1. "...for behold, some have wrested the scriptures, and have gone far astray because of this thing..."

This goes me down a path that is familiar to me. Those who have decided that they are wise, attempting to put themselves in a place of superiority and "leadership" that is best described to me as "aboveness". 

Yes, I make words up a lot.

 We've all heard the argument: "I've studied fill-in-the-blank-this and fill-in-the-blank-that, so I'm an expert. Now let me inform you of what I know and expect you to accept based on my expert and super-informed analysis. I am so much smarter than you"

OK, those words don't exactly get used in that order, but we've all heard a variety of them being used. It's not a church thing, it's a human being thing. 

But in this case, Alma and the Lord are talking about people who "wrest" with the scriptures. My first inclination is to replace the word "wrest" with the word "wrestle" because I didn't know what wrest means. To me, to wrestle means to do battle with, to fight, to twist as needed until we win. To pin others using our learned techniques, and then claim that God is on our team because we slammed the opponent to the mat. 

Google had a different perspective on the word. It says that the archaic (1830's) meaning is to "distort the meaning or interpretation of (something) to suit one's own interests or views." This sounds like what I described above. To use the scriptures not as a tool for learning, but as a weapon for winning. 

Now let me step out on thin ice for a bit. It seems to me that a person who is truly wanting to be guided and led toward truth will find all sources available. He or she would consult with any wise or spiritual people they find around them. They would refer to the prophets who live today. They would study the subject in all books available, perhaps both the scriptures as well as books written by wise people whose opinion can be trusted. Finally and most importantly, they would consult with the Lord. This is done by asking sincerely and not only listening to the Lord's answer but being prepared to humbly act on the instructions. Moroni 10:3-5 applies here.

Here's the thin ice: if a person resorts to a single scripture or scripture set that supports his pre-determined opinion, and excludes other sources of truth because they don't support his opinion, he is wresting. As the Lord says in Alma, these people go far astray. These people and their opinions should be addressed from a distance. They can be loved as sons and daughters of God, but their forcefulness must be avoided or resisted as the case may require. 

And do you want more thin ice? What about bible basher A who says "well, how about this scripture?" and then bible basher B says "well, check this one out!" and neither really considers either scripture, nor refers to the higher sources that are always available to them. These people may not be truth seekers - they might just be people who like to prove their own intellect and superiority. Their self-assumed "leadership" should be treated with suspicion. If your leader wants you to do whatever because he has a favorite scripture, and on that alone, you might want to consider finding a new leader. 

Find a church leader who encourages personal prayer, study, relying on the spirit, on prophets and apostles. On not just the bible but the Book of Mormon and other scriptures. On gifts and personal revelation. On local leaders who are more interested in guiding you to happiness than on what you contribute to their wallet. When your leader focuses on you more, and what you can do to worship them less, you have a true servant leader. LDS bishops make no nickels off the donations of who they serve - it makes them better leaders in my opinion. 

May we avoid being self deluded. May we avoid pride in any of our perceived gifts. If we have gifts, they are gifts from Another - not something we earned or own. May we seek truth, not battle for the win. May we seek depth, not just knowledge. May we learn God's love, not just memorize his words for use later on. May we wrest the pride out of our hearts, not argue forcefully to reinforce its presence.

Life is happier that way. I like happier.