Bucking the trend is hard. People ask you why you think you're different or better than. The fact is that we're all different and better than, and it's up to all of us to find out what variety of different we are. Yes, we are all better than in some category - we all have gifts that make us different/better than in some category. It's not reason for pride, it's a responsibility. We are expected to use our gifts and skills to climb out of the bucket, and then help others.
So today I'll differ with myself. Up until today, this has been about reading scriptures, and then writing about what I learned. There are no pre-set rules that bind me to that. I can consider, use the gifts I have, receive guidance from the eternal, and write about that. I guess it may not be about where I start, but how I am guided, and to where.
So I'm looking at notes I took while at the feet of a friend and guru, we'll call him Nathan. This is a sub-sub section of training about teaching, listening and responding. My notes have a heading of Connection when working with someone I'm trying to listen to.
So here's the scenario - one we've all seen before. The angry teenager, spouse, boss, or co worker. The difficult church member. The arguing client. Angry and/or difficult people are anywhere. They are impossible to avoid.
So. Connection. There are three parts to that - connection to them, connection to me, and connection to God. Nathan didn't elaborate on that, that's up to me for now.
Let's say I have an angry client. I do home inspections, so let's say I miss something. Let's say the roof leaked the day they moved in, and let's say that I didn't warn them about it.
So first, building a connection with them? I probably had their trust in the beginning, and then lost it all when the roof leaked on their twin babies. How does one restore that connection? How does one even get a part of it back? I can't just throw in the towel because these people are angry. From their point of view, they have every right to be angry. They paid me to advise them on the roof, the roof leaked, and their babies got soaked. They think they're correct, and to them, they are.
Everyone thinks they're right. Nobody has ever walked up to anyone and said, "you know, I realize I'm wrong about this, but here's what I think".
So. Are they right? do you only have to try to connect with them when they're right? Nope. Their correctness or lack of it is irrelevant. My correctness or lack of it is irrelevant. This is a time for connection, not correctness.
That in mind, a listening ear may be huge. To thoroughly and completely understand what they believe the facts to be. To feel their frustration. To learn that one of their babies has an allergy to being wet. To feel their fear and frustrations To try to feel their pain as deeply and in as much detail as they feel it.
That's hard. I am horrible at that.
Then, connection with myself. I have to know who I am and what I represent. If their roof leaked, and I'm at fault, will I automatically use words and actions that protect my bank account, or my soul? Which is more important to me? Being in contact with my soul isn't something I can just do in 5 minutes, like I would try to do with a client. Aligning myself with my eternal side takes a lifetime to do, and even then I'd guess that without great personal effort, it will never happen. And if/when it happens to some degree? That would be a gift from above. Big. Huge. Kind of like that scene in "Pretty Woman".
And then the third category: aligning myself with God. I guess it's fair to say that if I've aligned with myself, I'm well along the path of aligning myself with God. Still, there may be some difference.
Let's say that "Me, Inc" has decided that my brand will be known for extraordinary customer service. Would a company with that brand do more than listen and build connection? Would it go back out? Would it do everything in its power? Obviously, a home inspection company would go broke in no time flat if it paid out resolution money for everything it missed - everyone misses something every time, no matter how experienced, detailed and thorough you are. So it's not about writing checks. It's about being exceptional.
And from the Lord's perspective? Connection with God helps me to see that client as God sees them. He may not share with me their concerns about their mother's dementia, or their concerns about their baby's possible deafness, or their own fears of losing a job, or their fears about the spouse leaving, or their fears about having to speak or sing. He may not share those details with me, but he may share with me how much he loves them. I can get that when I am sufficiently aligned with God.
All three of these are hard. Mucho super hard. To connect with everyone, whether they are happy with you or not. That one by itself is a superhuman feat, and only God can help us do that with more people. That would be an awesome gift.
To connect with ourselves. To really know who we are, and to be committed to living our principles, even when it's really hard. To know what honesty and integrity mean, and to live that way even when we want to skip it for a minute.
To connect with God. Few things are more awesome than that. Again, this will be a matter of line upon line, and a million steps or grades, but to know our Savior? To look forward to the day when we meet him at the judgment bar? To yearn for the time when I can embrace him? To make this life a chunk of heaven, because we have access to his presence, just like I hope to have after I die?
If heaven means living in God's presence, there's no reason that can't happen now. As I've written before in this blog, he's waiting for us. Not the other way around.
May we connect. With others, with ourselves, and with our God. It sounds like that would be pretty awesome.
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