What it means to be powerful

 In your mind, picture that guy who is abusing his wife. Trailer house, wife beater shirt, beer bottles on the floor in and out. Starving dogs in their own filth outside the trailer. That guy. Who wants to be that guy? Absolutely none of us. Does he think he's "better than" because he can beat his wife any time at all? Probably. Is he powerful? He is not more powerful than the stuff his dogs are leaving in his yard.

That's what I've been working on lately: what is a powerful man? What is a powerful person? What is real power? Obviously our friend above is not powerful - he's a despicable waste of potential. What about others? Is a rich person powerful? I suspect it depends. If he's using his money to throw his weight around and prove he can get what he wants, he's no different than the trailer trash man. Money doesn't make you powerful - it's something else that causes real power.

What about the politician? The senator or the president? I have never personally met a president of a country, but I have lived through a number of their administrations. The most recent ones are men whose personalities and character I loathe. I wouldn't let them in my home. No matter the party, these men are nothing I'd want to be like. Are they powerful? Not in any way that I respect. Yes, they have the ability to throw their weight around and get what they want.

And again we see that despite their position, these people are not that much different than trailer trash guy.

Rock stars! Are they powerful? Thousands or millions of adoring fans. Drugs, sex and rock and roll. Wasted bodies, no purpose, turn the page.

So what does it mean to be a powerful person? I was reading in Mosiah 11 today. This is where the priests were changed out to suit a king's wishes. What had been God's chosen leaders were changed to suit the political needs of a community that wanted more politically correct (corrupt) men.

And then they started building stuff. Towers, thrones, gold laced chairs, elegant and spacious stuff. Elevated positions. Did the new priests need these symbols of power to support them because they knew that the power didn't come from inside them? I realize that a prophet doesn't need a golden throne to be a prophet - he needs well worn sandals. Or in today's case, shoes. He doesn't need a tower, he needs power that comes from inside himself. From God.

It occurs to me that a person who uses props to pronounce his power (a lambo, expensive furniture, a thoroughly beaten or demoralized wife, stories of their own awesomeness, trophies from 20 years ago, expensive clothing, etc) probably is not and never has been powerful. That person may be miles behind the average Joe that you meet on the street randomly. Power? I don't think so. Surrounded by props? That's true - but it's not power.

I could throw in one more. Knowledge about pro sports. Knowing who should have drafted who in which round, and how it would have been affected by available spending caps is interesting, but it doesn't make a man a real man. It's a prop too.

So if all of the typical signs of power are not powerful, then what does it mean to be a powerful man? Or powerful woman? The answer may be about the most powerful man the universe has ever known: our Creator.

He didn't need props. From my understanding of the bible, he didn't use any. No expensive chairs, no beaten wives, and the crown they placed on his head was placed against his will. His props were the moments when he served others by teaching them and washing their feet.

So what does power mean? Where does it come from? I believe that real power comes only from the inside. From having cleansed the inner vessel to the point that Christ can work with you to lead others. That powerful person can't be recognized by their car, but if your soul is open to them, they can be recognized by the spirit. When you find them, learn from them and support them. Gain from them. Find someone who can lift you - that person is powerful in a real way.

To be clear, it's not money that's the problem. It's how the money is used. If the rich person uses their money to support abused women, that's power. If the money is used to abuse, that's a prop.

May we all search for real power in ourselves, and surround ourselves by others who have real power in themselves. May we fill our souls with real power, then dedicate our lives to sharing that gift we have received.

#lds #mormon #Jesus #Christ #love #spirit #faith #sharegoodness #lighttheworld #ldsshare #giftsandguides #thechurchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints

Good intentions are not enough

So I have to admit, I've fallen out of the routine, and I feel less guided lately. It's entirely possible that one has much to do with the other - I don't know. I tried to get back into clearing my pipeline yesterday with some reading in the Doctrine and Covenants. It didn't inspire me and I found nothing to write about. This is a time to return to home. For me, that's the Book of Mormon. I've said it before many times, but its simplicity and straightforward spiritualness (is that a thing?) make it a good place for me to come back home to.

So I'm reading in Mosiah today. I started at the top of the page, then worked backwards, each time looking for more background story. I saw in verse 18 where Zeniff, the pioneer and first king of the group, wrote at the end of his life that his people's problems were caused by Laman, the king of the lamanites whose land he pioneered. He said Laman caused all those problems "by his cunning, and lying craftiness, and his fair promises".

credit: veterinaryitsupport.com

It struck me funny. I'm sure Laman was all those things and more, but this looked to me like a guy that was perhaps not taking responsibility. "That guy over there made my life miserable!" We all hear it, we've all felt it, and we've all wanted to be the person pointing the finger.

Really, I suspect that nobody can force us to be miserable. Only we can make our own lives miserable, or we can allow others into our vulnerable places enough to allow them to make us miserable. Either way, we caused or allowed the misery. It's not them, it's us.

But this guy is a writer in the Book of Mormon, right? He's a prophet? And he doesn't get the concept of personal responsibility? My first thought again, is yes. Men are prophets. Prophets are men. The Lord has to work with the tools he has available, and we're all messed up - one way or the other. It has to be a pretty messy business from the Lord's perspective - using people who are guaranteed to be imperfect while running your organization on earth.

So then I went back some more in the chapter. Was Zeniff a prophet? Turns out no. He was a good hearted man who was a Nephite spy. While spying he found Lamanite lifestyles that warmed his heart. There were families, there was love, there was certainly kindness. He wanted to believe that the Lamanites were misunderstood by the Nephites.  To prove that, he resolved to take a group of Nephites into Lamanite land to live with them in peace, happiness and prosperity. Kumbaya would reign.

So he did just that. They did OK for a while, then things go badly, and Zeniff goes back to blaming Laman for being cunning and evil.

There's a problem in all this. The problem is not that Zeniff wasn't a prophet - he was a well intentioned, good man. He called himself overzealous in verse 9.

Here's the point: Zeal alone, or good intentions, or kind heartedness, or whatever its name may be, is no replacement for learning and following the will of the Lord. Zeniff had no directive from the Lord to do what he did. It didn't come from any prophet or leader, and it didn't come from personal inspiration. It came from a belief system he developed while working as a spy for the Nephites.

Was he a member of the church? Probably. Did his membership alone make his decisions divinely inspired? Nope. Did he choose to rely only on his own intellect? Sadly, yes. Membership alone in the Lord's church doesn't make us correct in our decisions - we have to know that our decisions came from the Lord. As a result of Zeniff's well meaning personal decision, generations of his followers suffered and died.

I guess it's also fair to say that they can't blame Zeniff. They chose to follow him, because his idea sounded great. They didn't bother to check in with the Lord to make sure the Lord thought the idea was OK.

At the risk of straying from the subject, it kinda reminds me of politics. People get drawn to ideas that sound great, but are known to fail. Even after the idea shows itself to be a failure, they still cling to the idea because it still sounds great.

How does this apply to us? Sometimes we see a need: That homeless person on the corner wants money, or the neighbor across the street needs whatever, or the wayward grandson needs a place to live (I could tell you so many meth stories). These are all conditions that tug at our hearts, but rather than simply give, we must check in first with the Lord. Will we be further ruining that person's life by handing him money for the next fix? Will the neighbor use our kindness as a way to avoid looking for a job? Will the grandson move in and contaminate the home? As a former meth home remediator, I can say you lose everything. Everything. It all goes to the landfill. Then grandma and grandpa get to start over. and the meth head moves on to the next good hearted victim.

So we need to check in with the Lord. He knows if that beggar is hungry, or if he's going to feed his addiction. The Lord knows, and he is all too willing to provide us with that guidance. We have to keep our end of the pipeline clear.

From personal experience lately, I know that's not easy. But I do remember that it's worth it.

#lds #mormon #Jesus #Christ #love #spirit #faith #sharegoodness #lighttheworld #ldsshare #giftsandguides #thechurchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints

Light and good stuff

Navigating the scriptures can be hard. I remember reading the scriptures for the first time as an 8th grader. I started my first seminary class and we were all challenged to read the book of Mormon all the way though. Three pages a day. "Shouldn't be hard" the teacher said. Yeah, right! I think by the time we were supposed to be done, I was somewhere in Alma - about 40% finished. Reading scriptures is boring if you're an uninspired teen. It's not like reading Harry Potter.  How could others find it so much easier to read than I found it to be?

Navigating the scriptures can be a task for many. If you don't know what you're looking for and just trying to read the scriptures like a novel, it can be labor. But lately (and this is why I started this blog), I read it looking for easter eggs. Gems. Little shining truths that expand my understanding and allow me to feel like I can see one more star in the sky. One way to look for those is to look for markers. For me, no word makes a better easter egg marker than the word "and". 

It's such an unassuming word - and that's why it's awesome in its use as a marker.

I was in priesthood meeting yesterday, and the lesson was on the general conference talk by Taniela Wakolo. Our teacher was my former home teaching partner, when it was really home teaching. A stellar man. The dude has a few years on him, and every one of those years must have been spent well. He serves when nobody is looking, and his soul runs deep. I admire him much.

So he was teaching, and had a question that seemed to drop off a cliff. He was asking about light and knowledge. He was referencing this talk, and quoted one of our church leaders about light and knowledge. "Why light and knowledge" he asked. Nobody had an answer. I asked a question back to him - what is light and knowledge? He didn't know. Nobody else in the room did either apparently. The conversation went elsewhere then, but I was stuck. He had wanted to consider knowledge and light to be interchangeable, but I knew the Lord doesn't do that. The Lord's language is extremely precise, and if he used both words, then both words were different and important. I knew that here lies an easter egg, and it was up to me to find it. 

What's the difference between light and knowledge? Light and truth? The title of this conference references light and protection. I suspect that a discussion on light and truth goes infinitely deep. I can venture down that hole, but I could never go too far. That one is so deep, it's a personal thing. That's one egg we all have to find ourselves, nobody can or should hand it to you - including and especially me.

But I feel like Light and Knowledge are something I can explore. For me, using your brain to learn spiritual truth is like trying to use your eyes to hear a song. Not the right tool. Like trying to hear someone touching you. 

So light and knowledge? What if knowledge is what we know - it's truths we already have. It's super data. It's some combination of experience, study, and what we've already received from above. It might even be described as the sum total of what we have achieved thus far in life. No matter where that is, it is probably not enough to move forward in life without further guidance from on high.

So that's what light might be. Light is our ability to be guided into tomorrow. Not our present skill set. We might have a huge tool box, but be completely unaware that there is such a thing as a drill, a table saw, or an allen wrench. We might not know because, to date, we've never needed them or been able to use them. 

This is where light comes in. The Lord sees that I really need an allen wrench. Nothing else in my tool box works. He tries to give it to me as I need it, and if I'm open to receiving it, I've got the allen wrench I need. 

Light is like access to the library, or to google. It's access to knowledge much more infinite than I can ever use. It's my Heavenly Father being there, lighting my way, and placing the allen wrench in my pathway, moments before I need it. I still need to be open to seeing it, bend down, pick it up, carry it and use it. Most importantly, I must not reject it.

There is much more to this subject, but as always, this is about as far as I can go. It's a subject that certainly goes a mile deep. I can get to the first two millimeters.

Light and knowledge? Very different. Huge.  

May we read the scriptures looking for gems, may we find our own sign posts indicating where the gems are for us. May we use all the tools that the Lord provided for us as we search for truth. And may we seek earnestly for them.

Lesson 33: Sharing the Gospel

I don't remember when or where it was, but I heard a church leader say something like "The church must be true - if it wasn't, the missionaries would have killed it long ago".

I get that. As a missionary nearly 40 years ago, I saw that some of the missionaries there considered themselves to be on a two year vacation away from mom and dad. The damage they did was regrettable. Even a well meaning missionary, and I'm speaking of myself here, can cause damage. The language in Guatemala is Spanish. I walked past an outdoor preacher once and said in English "Is that so?" Now that alone was definitely not Christ like, but how it got interpreted was worse. He didn't speak english. He spoke spanish and thought I said "Sonso", which means he thought I was calling him an idiot. There was no recovering - I kept moving on. Damage - done.

So there is a little bit of understanding for Jonah. He was definitely a man, and like all of us, was much less of a tool for the Lord than the Lord would have him be. First, he tries to avoid a mission call by leaving the city. Apparently he didn't understand that the Lord was the Lord of more than just that city. The bigger picture was lost on this man - at least in that category.

Next, I find the story interesting. It looks like there is a chiasm in this story, but that's a subject for a different blog. All my life I had heard that a whale swallowed him up and blew him out right next to Ninevah. Not so. The old testament says it was a fish, and it vomited him, 3 days away.  It may have been a whale, but the bible just says it was a fish. The whale thing is "common knowledge", but it's also inaccurate.

So like so many of us, when we get a title, we think we're awesome. We're powerful. We are to be obeyed and feared. And whatever we say goes, because why? We have a title. In his case, he was a messenger of the Lord. To him, that meant that whatever came to his head, and whatever he said, must be backed up by the Lord. It wasn't about relaying the Lord's word to the people, it was about him being powerful. In a way, he misunderstood his role - he considered himself to be the Lord, and figured that if he said it (he had a title, right?) then the Lord had an obligation to make it so.

Credit: Garth Knox - Longroom.com

Now, the purpose of this discussion is not to just beat up on Jonah. It's to get all of us to look at ourselves, and decide how much we fail to understand our roles. Do we expect the Lord to back us when we don't listen to his guidance? Do we let a title of the Lord's trust make us proud? When we get a title, do we then humbly work to enlarge our pipeline with the Lord? Or do we consider it no longer necessary because now we have the title?

This passage is in the scriptures not because Jonah was a problem, but because we all are.

We all have leadership positions. Husband, wife, father, quorum presidency, manager, executive, bishop, nursery leader. It doesn't matter what the position of trust is. What matters is that we must rely on the Lord to guide us. What can't we rely on? We can't rely on ourselves, our intellect, our social circles, philosophical books, social trends, or "common knowledge". And we can't rely on our titles. We must develop that pipeline with the Lord, and do what He commands. And when we really wanted those tens of thousands of people to die so that we could be "right"? When it ruins our day that the Lord doesn't do what we command him to do? That's when we need to check our own souls.

It's not about the title - it never was. The prophets have long said that judgment day won't be about what title we had, it will be about how we lived. For me, that means it's about how well I've developed that pipeline to the Lord. May we seek that relationship. From what little I know about it, it's absolutely worth developing.

Lesson 32: Trials and our Redeemer

It was on facebook just a couple of days ago. I love the latter day saint type pages because members of the church from all over the world can discuss. It's kind of awesome to see how a member of the church in Ghana or Finland sees things, and how the rest of us help people get past the differences between culture and religion.

So the facebook post went something like this: Why does God allow bad people to do bad things to good people? The idea sounds to me something like this: wouldn't a loving God protect his people? Why be good if bad is still going to happen to you? 

I don't know if it was intended to be an introduction to this week's sunday school lesson, but it very much was. 

Now, full disclosure. I live a very blessed life. My health is good, I have time to pursue my passions and try to be a light house to others. My wife is awesome, and my relationship with her is an 11 on a scale of 10. My job is good because I'm my own boss, and I make enough. Recently, when I don't make enough, my wife's income is more than enough to compensate. She out earns my best months lately. My children mostly live close, and they are all moving forward in their lives. I'm not being tested. Everyone around me is though.

For some, it's continuous horrible physical pain and no job.  For some, it's a continuous lack of money and a resulting depression & inadequacy. For some, it's loneliness, or a feeling of never being able to fit in. Or it is a lifelong history of abuse: sexual, verbal, physical - all of it. I know people who fit in all of these categories. For my dad, until he passed a couple of months ago, it was day in and day out loneliness. For years, he went to bed having done nothing, and in the morning he had nothing to do. We did our best, but you can't make a burden like that go away completely. 

Why does life have to be so hard? For everybody but me, at least. 

And the lesson this week is Job. He had it all back in his day: sheep, camel, all of it. He was the rich guy. Did it make him vain? Nope - I heard a phrase once that money doesn't make you evil, it just magnifies whatever you are. Job was a man of God. He knew what he was, and who he believed in. He had a relationship with his redeemer. This wasn't a matter of convenience because professing religion got him "in" with the religious leaders. It wasn't because he liked the other members of the congregation. It didn't assist him in his deal making as he was trading sheep for goats. He loved the Lord because he knew the Lord. Like Abraham, he knew the voice of the Lord because he had heard and followed that voice many times.

This is not a man who was afraid of judgment day, this is a man who knew that when he met his Redeemer, he would run to him and embrace him.

I'm not sure that the way the old testament reads is completely correct. As it is translated, it sounds like God and Satan were playing a game of chess, using Job as the pawn. To me it's a bit different than that. I believe that when we are born, Christ puts a protective ring around us. A full circle ring that prevents us from being jabbed by Satan in areas where we are unprepared and vulnerable. Then, little by little, line upon line, he removes some part of our protections, and allows us to battle the adversary and build our own protections. Our own testimony, our own wisdom, our own strength, our own relationship with the Savior. This is why we were sent here.

The Lord knew Job would pass his tests, which is why he allowed Job to be so tested. He knows we can pass our tests, which is why he allows us to have them. Job's loss of his herds, his family and his health were not curses from God. They were extremely unpleasant, and none of his tests were something I'd want to wish on myself, but they were gifts. They allowed Job to exhibit his greatness. They allowed him to go from being a really good man that lived among the sagebrush thousands of years ago, who would be forgotten a generation later, to a biblical light house. A beacon of strength to all of us who struggle. He was a foreshadow to a greater man who would give His all as well. That man is our Redeemer. My Redeemer. 

I have experienced pain in my life. My own choices brought me more pain than I can describe. Years upon years of pain, and the pain will never end while I'm alive. But it did help me get to know my Redeemer - he took my poor choices upon himself, and I willingly gave them to him. They are His now, and as a whole, my life is happier than anyone else I know. 

May we trust God, take our difficulties in a trusting way, and rely on Him to get through them. Greatness comes from asking Him to help us as we grow ourselves toward being more like him. 

Well, that's different

It's hard to keep up a good habit. When you're coasting along life, doing nothing to stand out, I would imagine you probably minimize the criticism you receive. By contrast, when you reach, when you lift your eyes from the bottom of the pail, there may be those who want to remind you that the bucket is all there is, and it's wrong for anyone to consider anything otherwise.

Bucking the trend is hard. People ask you why you think you're different or better than. The fact is that we're all different and better than, and it's up to all of us to find out what variety of different we are. Yes, we are all better than in some category - we all have gifts that make us different/better than in some category. It's not reason for pride, it's a responsibility. We are expected to use our gifts and skills to climb out of the bucket, and then help others.

So today I'll differ with myself. Up until today, this has been about reading scriptures, and then writing about what I learned. There are no pre-set rules that bind me to that. I can consider, use the gifts I have, receive guidance from the eternal, and write about that. I guess it may not be about where I start, but how I am guided, and to where.

So I'm looking at notes I took while at the feet of a friend and guru, we'll call him Nathan. This is a sub-sub section of training about teaching, listening and responding. My notes have a heading of Connection when working with someone I'm trying to listen to. 

So here's the scenario - one we've all seen before. The angry teenager, spouse, boss, or co worker. The difficult church member. The arguing client. Angry and/or difficult people are anywhere. They are impossible to avoid.

So. Connection. There are three parts to that - connection to them, connection to me, and connection to God. Nathan didn't elaborate on that, that's up to me for now. 

Let's say I have an angry client. I do home inspections, so let's say I miss something. Let's say the roof leaked the day they moved in, and let's say that I didn't warn them about it.

So first, building a connection with them? I probably had their trust in the beginning, and then lost it all when the roof leaked on their twin babies. How does one restore that connection? How does one even get a part of it back? I can't just throw in the towel because these people are angry. From their point of view, they have every right to be angry. They paid me to advise them on the roof, the roof leaked, and their babies got soaked. They think they're correct, and to them, they are. 

Everyone thinks they're right. Nobody has ever walked up to anyone and said, "you know, I realize I'm wrong about this, but here's what I think". 

So. Are they right? do you only have to try to connect with them when they're right? Nope. Their correctness or lack of it is irrelevant. My correctness or lack of it is irrelevant. This is a time for connection, not correctness.

That in mind, a listening ear may be huge. To thoroughly and completely understand what they believe the facts to be. To feel their frustration. To learn that one of their babies has an allergy to being wet. To feel their fear and frustrations To try to feel their pain as deeply and in as much detail as they feel it.

That's hard. I am horrible at that. 

Then, connection with myself. I have to know who I am and what I represent. If their roof leaked, and I'm at fault, will I automatically use words and actions that protect my bank account, or my soul? Which is more important to me? Being in contact with my soul isn't something I can just do in 5 minutes, like I would try to do with a client. Aligning myself with my eternal side takes a lifetime to do, and even then I'd guess that without great personal effort, it will never happen. And if/when it happens to some degree? That would be a gift from above. Big. Huge. Kind of like that scene in "Pretty Woman". 

And then the third category: aligning myself with God. I guess it's fair to say that if I've aligned with myself, I'm well along the path of aligning myself with God. Still, there may be some difference.

Let's say that "Me, Inc" has decided that my brand will be known for extraordinary customer service. Would a company with that brand do more than listen and build connection? Would it go back out? Would it do everything in its power? Obviously, a home inspection company would go broke in no time flat if it paid out resolution money for everything it missed - everyone misses something every time, no matter how experienced, detailed and thorough you are. So it's not about writing checks. It's about being exceptional. 

And from the Lord's perspective? Connection with God helps me to see that client as God sees them. He may not share with me their concerns about their mother's dementia, or their concerns about their baby's possible deafness, or their own fears of losing a job, or their fears about the spouse leaving, or their fears about having to speak or sing. He may not share those details with me, but he may share with me how much he loves them. I can get that when I am sufficiently aligned with God.

All three of these are hard. Mucho super hard. To connect with everyone, whether they are happy with you or not. That one by itself is a superhuman feat, and only God can help us do that with more people. That would be an awesome gift. 

To connect with ourselves. To really know who we are, and to be committed to living our principles, even when it's really hard. To know what honesty and integrity mean, and to live that way even when we want to skip it for a minute.

To connect with God. Few things are more awesome than that. Again, this will be a matter of line upon line, and a million steps or grades, but to know our Savior? To look forward to the day when we meet him at the judgment bar? To yearn for the time when I can embrace him? To make this life a chunk of heaven, because we have access to his presence, just like I hope to have after I die? 

If heaven means living in God's presence, there's no reason that can't happen now. As I've written before in this blog, he's waiting for us. Not the other way around. 

May we connect. With others, with ourselves, and with our God. It sounds like that would be pretty awesome.

Holding it

So I try to be open to guidance, however it comes. I have found that it can come in various ways, but the guidance I take today is from seeing repetition. It goes like this: I've been feeling like a big slacker because my number of posts dropped considerably in the last few months - from about 8ish to 1 or 2. I write these so that somebody somewhere might benefit from them, and I wonder if my slacking hurts my own soul and fails to benefit others as I intended.

So with my slacker-ness in mind, I spoke up in sunday school the other day. The subject was the old testament, 2 Kings chapter 2. In there twice, Elisha was told to hold his peace when his friend, mentor, and prophet was taken from the earth.

It happened twice. This is one of those things where sometimes you get it once, and you have to notice it to see the golden nugget. When it happens more than once, it seems to me that the Lord is trying to send a clear message: notice this phrase! And the phrase was to hold your peace, even when Elijah, one of the greatest prophets ever, was taken from your side.

Then I start reading today where the Doctrine and Covenants was open, and I start at verse 22. What do I notice right up front? "Hold your peace". OK, I get it. Someone is trying to tell me something. I also found it a few verses earlier as I kept reading. Twice, twice.

I am no expert on what "hold your peace" means fully, but I can stab around the edges. It probably means that Elisha didn't fall down, stay on the ground, and mourn Elijah's loss as the reason for his being a wreck for the rest of his life. It might have meant that he felt authorized to feel grateful for Elijah's life, service, and greatness. It could have meant that he chose to feel honored for the time spent with this great man. What is peace? It comes from the Lord. It's an inner thing. Was Elijah's loss a loss to Elisha? Of course, but the Lord knew why and when he was taking Elijah home, and it seems a bit faithless if Elisha were to have mourned and wasted his life, knowing that what happened was the will of his God.

So perhaps for Elisha, holding your peace at Elijah's "death" may result in some loss. It could also mean greater power and depth, greater stature, and a preparation to fulfill his own calling and purpose. It could mean that Elisha's time had come. He could spend it mourning and complaining and wishing, or he could now step into his full greatness.

I'm not saying it's not OK to feel bad at someone's death, not at all. For me, it's not even about death. It's about moaning and mourning excessively when something "bad" happens. Elijah's passing was the will of God. Sometimes our losing a job, or having someone get a disease, or being put in a wheelchair might be a gift from on high. It seems bad to us, but it's the Lord's plan, and that makes it perfect. I know people, including myself, who have had these "bad" things happen, only to acknowledge later that it was exactly what needed to happen at the time. The consequences of the "bad" event immeasurably benefited me and others I know.

I find it interesting that internet definitions of "hold your peace" means to bind your tongue when you want to scream. That seems to me to be about a nickel's worth of the meaning. It's not about bottling up, it's not about restraining the bonfire inside. If there's a bonfire anywhere, whether I think it's showing or not, then there is no peace. You can't hold your peace if there isn't any. You're just holding a fire.

Instead, when things go badly, holding your peace to me means that inside your soul, you don't internalize. You keep the peace that has been in your soul right there, your soul is filled with peace, and nothing gets to replace it. Of course there are fires, but they are not fires within. I try to deal with my fires from a place of peace within my soul, but they are fires outside my soul - not in.

Not to say that this is actually what I do - but it is the goal.

Life gets easier when we can be a lighthouse, when our soul is filled with light - and peace. Then we can reflect it properly. Dark spots and inner conflict prevent a lighthouse from being functional, and to extend the analogy a bit further, I'm thinking that a conflicted, unpeaceful, unlit lighthouse is just a pile of rocks. The cost of allowing the un-peace in is too great. It can't happen if we are to fill our purpose and calling.

May we fill our souls with peace. May we let in the light and make it ours. Darkness can be dealt with, but it doesn't come in. Instead, it can be served. It can be shown a light. May we keep our peace, and our light, so that it is always ready to be reflected, but never displaced within our souls.

At least that's how I feel about it. Thanks for the read - I hope it benefits you.

How to be gifted

We've all seen those people - the gifted ones. The ones who can do everything well. The ones who can do six things so well, that we'd give our right arm to do any one of things like that.

For me, in college it was Dave Jorgensen. The dude was smart. This was very important to a bunch of college kids struggling through the civil engineering program with me. This was a guy who was so smart, he could have class discussions explained to him by another one of my friends who went to class, then they would both go take the test, and Dave would do better than the friend who explained everything to him. Yeah. Annoyingly smart!

He was athletic. He could play racquetball so much better than any of the rest of my crowd. It seemed that the race was always to second place, because we figured out very quickly that Dave was unbeatable.

He had the face. He had the muscles. He got the girls. For me, I learned that school was a very basic existence: you lived your life hoping for grades and dates. That's it. Most of the time, I didn't feel like I could even reach that bar. Dave did it without even breathing hard.

He had no guile. He was spiritual, and was developing his relationship with the Savior well at that young age. I have no doubt that in the decades since I knew him, he has been in many leadership positions. It was impossible not to love the guy.

How does one guy get so many of the gifts? Why is there no even distribution of gifts?

If you've read many of my previous blogs, you know I'm about gifts. I've come to realize that everything is a gift. Even right now, on my desk there is a stinky set of orthotics for my shoes (unsanitary, right?), a couple of pens, a solo cup that used to contain this morning's green shake breakfast, a bill, a bottle of lavender, and my scriptures. I've come to learn that they are all gifts - except perhaps the bill. I suppose that it represents a gift.

So when you're not Dave - what then? When your belly pops out further than your toes, and you can almost get off the ground when you jump. When you lack charisma and sometimes wonder if you're invisible. When your family isn't as close as you wish it were. When you feel spiritually stagnant, and can see that you're definitely older than five years ago. What about us then? Are we still relevant? Does God still remember us? Are we still relevant to him?

I ran across Doctrine & Covenants 11 today. The Lord answered my question. Now, as a forewarning, I see things through the lens of gifts from Father. Here's what I saw.

5: Therefore, if you will ask of me you shall receive
8: Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of it so it shall be done unto you; and if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation
10: Behold, thou hast a gift, or thou shalt have a gift if thou wilt desire of me in faith; with an honest heart, believing in the power of Jesus Christ, or in my power which speaketh unto thee
14: And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.

There's the answer! True to the usual methods I've learned about from the Lord, it's a very short recipe. Here it is: if you really want it, the Lord will give it to you. That simple.

We could go deeper and dig into what it means to really want it, but I'll leave that to you. I don't want to pollute the message. How to be gifted? Ask for gifts from the Lord.

Gifts are also responsibilities. As I've mentioned before, if I give my grandson a toy truck, I hope that he will play with it - not bury it in the back yard. What I give him next depends to a great extent on what he does with the toy truck.

One last story. I joined the church choir a few months ago. Bear in mind that this is not because I have any singing gifts - it's because I'm fascinated with music. I can't read notes, and am just learning my range. I had never sung in public before, and still can't bring myself to sing privately if anyone else is in the house.

I sang for the ward in the choir yesterday - I knew I was behind, and I didn't know the song. I knew the only way I wouldn't be embarrassed with my results was to plead with the Lord - to ask him to get me further down the path with those songs than I was. I'm very grateful to have received that gift.

He's not holding back on gifts we want: we are. We are holding back on ourselves. May we allow ourselves to be more gifted as we move forward. He's waiting to help us.

Fasting ain't fast at all

So I'm reading along and found Doctrine and Covenants 59. I felt that there was something in there, but the gem eluded me. What is it on that chunk of the page that I was missing? Where was the gem that I kept passing? I wasn't seeing it.

The chapter talks about fasting, and what the blessings are. It talks about the gifts of the earth, and how we're called to appreciate them and use them well. 

This can't be the gem. When I was little, I used to loathe fast sunday because, well, I'd starve. There was one day when as a teenager, I couldn't make it. I (on sunday) drove to the local McDonalds. I had to get something in my gut! I felt bad breaking my fast, but it was worth it I thought. I felt bad doing it on a Sunday, because we're not supposed to make others work on a Sunday. All that said, I was starving! So I pull up the local McD, and go in for a small burger. I don't remember if I ordered the small burger to minimize the purchase, or because a small burger was all I could afford, but I think it was probably a bit of conscience. If I contribute minimally to the profit margin, that's less motivation for the business to stay open on Sunday, right? 

It was logic that worked for me at the time.

So that's me. That's my background. Fasting is painful. It's denial of what you want. It's starving so you can prove to yourself that you can. There's an element of spirit over body, but mostly it's always felt like, well, like "ugh". 

And now back to the current day. Doctrine and Covenants 59:14. "Verily, this is fasting and prayer, or in other words, rejoicing and prayer". 

Now sometimes the Lord hides key words in deep corners, and you have to search for the key meanings. He allows you to search deep in the caverns, and hands you those golden eggs when you hunt far enough to find them. At those times, both the golden egg and the successful hunt become very rewarding.

This is not really one of those times.

The Lord very clearly substituted fasting for rejoicing. What? How? I don't get it! I don't rejoice when I fast - I usually starve. Whatever the Lord meant, that message doesn't click with me. Unless it's meant to. Unless that's why I was drawn to this part of the page in this chapter. 

Why would rejoicing and fasting be the same? Because we remind ourselves that it doesn't all just come naturally because we're breathing? To remind ourselves that those things we eat, wear, or use are blessings from our Father? That egg, or piece of toast isn't just something we mindlessly eat because it's there, and it fills the gut while we're doing something else - it's a gift. It originates from mother earth, which originates from our God. 

It's a time to appreciate not only the bowl of cereal, but our clothing, the wood on the floor we're standing on, the roof above our heads. The water we can drink, even that light bulb! How many gifts of God does that light bulb represent? The glass, the filament, the power, the technology, the list could go on. Those small things we forget? Those are gifts to us, and there is reason to celebrate them.

So if I'm understanding that my bowl of cheerios is a gift, and that I'm surrounded by other gifts, and I can see them now because I'm not taking one of them for granted (for a day at least), then I'm grateful. And if I'm grateful for each of the 1000+ gifts around me in any given room? I guess that's rejoicing.

May we all rejoice in the "small" gifts that surround us. May we defeat the body with our spirit. May we not just survive that day, but grow our spirits and our gratitude in the same way that a mushroom cloud expands. These are gifts our Father can provide - but only if we allow Him to provide them.

Must be fulfilled

So I just finished a trip down to Marysvale with a bunch of friends. I knew them generally as good people with good vibes before, but now I could call them very good friends - people I could share my weaknesses with. Part of the trip was about traversing God's gift to us as we wheeled through the deserts and mountains, and part of it was getting to know each other better. Both parts were really awesome.

One of my new friends, as it turns out, is an escapee from Siberia and Russia. He, his dad, and the rest of his family were slated to be taken from Siberia to a labor camp in Siberia. As if Siberia wasn't bad enough - but I can't go into those stories here. Let's just say that day to day survival was iffy in "normal" Siberia.

So he gets a fair warning and escaped Russia through a set of miracles. Then he's living in Israel, but can't get citizenship because he has christian beliefs. He can't work, and he can't eat. At this point, he receives guidance from God to leave, using a path that clearly won't work. He's going to get on to a plane without the right papers. He doesn't have a visa or passport because he's not a citizen of anywhere. Can you travel internationally without those papers? No. He knows that, his dad knows that - everybody knows that. But he buys the tickets anyway. Why? Because he was told by his God to do so.

Fast forward past a few more miracles and he's in Canada, now an illegal immigrant - and without papers. Fast forward some more, and add another miracle or two, and now he's a Canadian citizen.

Nephi did that too. In Chapter 17 verse 3, "And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness"

Nephi was asked to do the impossible as well. Drop your life in Jerusalem, and go out to the desert where there was no food, no water, nothing except bad guys waiting to take your stuff and then kill you. Does that sound like a good idea? Maybe if you're suicidal, but it was a commandment of God. Rather than reason it out and decide it was a bad idea, Nephi and his family did what they were told to do.

It was far from easy. The Lord didn't make it easy at all, but he made them able. It turned out pretty well for them. For more information on that story, check out the entire Book of Mormon.

So now I'm looking for the difference between Nephi, my buddy Arthur, and the rest of us. We don't get guidance from God, right? Why them and not us?

Actually if I went down that road, this post might turn into its own book. To avoid that, I'll fast forward a bit and try to hit the highlights I see.

First, we must not block divine messages. A part of this probably involves keeping my soul clean enough that the message can get through. Sin, drugs, anger, and bad habits can cloud our spirit, and make it more difficult for the message to get through. I won't begin to guess as to how much of a negative shield we can build up before the message can't get through - that's up to God. I can only presume that the fewer shields we put up, the more the we allow the Lord's messages to get through.

Second, one must be looking for guidance from God. He must know that I will receive his guidance and act on it - I've discussed this in many other blogs.

Third, I have to act on it. It's super likely that I won't be shown all steps I need to take - just the next one. It doesn't matter that I'm asked to step into a pit of snakes and to stand there and wait for further instructions - if that's the instructions, that's what I need to do.

The last thing that comes to mind is also vital. How do you know when something is guidance from deity, or when it's just a random thought? This comes from practice and obedience, from faith and action. How did Abraham really know that the commandment to take his son into the middle of nowhere and kill him was a commandment? He knew. He had practiced following the word of God. He knew what the Lord's voice sounded like, and he was willing to bet his son's life on it. That's called certainty.

How do you get there? I'm thinking we follow steps 1 though 3 over and over. Thousands of times. Tens of thousands of times. We learn his voice, we request his voice, and we follow that voice. We communicate with God, we emulate Him, we try to become more like him. As we enlarge the pipeline with Him, we know his voice, and we hear it more often. The Lord's trust in our willingness to obey grows, and our willingness to follow grows. Then we can become greater disciples of Christ.

I'm sure there's more to the subject, but that's as far as I can go today. It's as far as the Lord can take me with the subject I guess. May we all seek for these gifts.

Lesson 14: Ye shall be a peculiar treasure

Lesson 14 this week is, to me, a lesson about all of us as followers. It's about strengthening ourselves as followers, so that our leaders can be strengthened to lead properly.

Many of us have felt that moment: you get asked to do something that you know is way over your head. Maybe it's nursery leader, maybe it's young women's president. Maybe it's the bishopric. You don't feel ready. You feel inadequate and undersized. You know you, and you know your inadequacies. You know your sins and weaknesses - certainly someone else has a better resume than you. Right? But you also understand that the person providing the call to you is a representative of the Lord.

Yes, you're inadequate for that job or calling. Of course you are. That's fine though - the Lord makes up the difference if we'll let him.

credit: teachingthem.com

The same is true of Moses. One of the greatest prophets ever, was he inadequate for the job? Absolutely, and the Lord knew that, was fine with that, and worked with that. A passage in Exodus 17:8-13 describes how two men, who we could think of perhaps as counselors, or perhaps simply as members of the church, helped Moses do what Moses couldn't by himself. He had a staff to hold up, and as long as it was up, Moses' fighting men prevailed. The problem is that no man can hold that up all day long - it's humanly impossible, even for a legend like Moses. But if he lowered it, his men would die and his army began to lose the battle. It had to be up.

The answer? Get two strong men around Moses to help him lift. They didn't and couldn't take Moses' burden from him, but they helped him lift.

This goes me back to moments in my life when I heard someone say that the bishop was not up to the job, or that someone else was doing it wrong. Was the complainer right? Technically yes, perhaps. But they were so wrong. You make a leader strong not by complaining about his inability to carry the staff, but by lifting him or her, and easing their load. Love and service, not griping and complaining.

The Israelites did this at another time as well. Moses had just gotten them through the red sea. Is this enough to have them revere him as a man of God and treasured leader forever? Nope. Was it enough that the Lord fed them for free? Nope. Manna, quail and water weren't enough. They apparently wanted pizza. Can't the Lord that makes manna happen send down pizza occasionally? And on Saturdays, can't we get maybe some nice sushi? If it's all the same to the Lord, we're bored of manna! Oh - and if it's pizza, not Little Caesar's. We want pizza hut.

But Moses and the Lord wouldn't do that. This kind of reminds me of people following Christ, not because they recognized him as the Savior of their soul, but because he came with free food. And when the free food stops being tasty enough, our gratitude for it wanes, and we demand more.

This reminds me of politics. We as a human race haven't changed that much. We're a bunch of takers - still.

So now, without pizza on the menu, the Israelites start complaining about Moses. You can imagine the signs and posters: "Where's the beef?!", "No pizza, no respect!", "No sushi, no sunday!"

credit: wikimedia

The Lord called them a peculiar treasure. They are peculiar all right. Treasure? Only the Lord can see that. I just see demanding and annoying. I guess I don't have the Lord's viewpoint. It's good he loves them. I'm sure I annoy him as well - often.

This of course isn't a reflection on Moses - he is what he is. It's a reflection on those who call themselves God's chosen people. They prove their lesser-ness. They add to the weight their leader must carry.

If our leaders are imperfect, if they are flagging, it's time to step in. Not to complain, but to love, lift, and serve. We can't take their calling from them, but we can lovingly assist. In this way, we can build ourselves so that our own load is easier to carry.

We can be a lighthouse, not only to those who are less than in some way, but to everyone. To those who have bigger callings and heavier loads, we can also reflect God's light. May we do so.