How could you forget?

Nephi asked his people "have your forgotten your God?" and the answer is that of course they had. But looking back at it, why would we forget priority one? Why make priority 99 more important than priority 1? 

It's a crazy time. Fires to the west, tornadoes to the east. Earthquakes local. And then there's the covid thing. Yeah - that's happening too. 

There's a coin shortage for some reason. People live for the opportunity to cut someone down to size. To be right on facebook by taking someone else out is the ultimate proof of internet man card. Snark rules. There's no church, and when there is church, you see only some of the people you know and love for a minute - and they're behind a mask. There is no embracing, no handshaking, no connection. There is no "us", only "me" and 'you". 

I've fell victim to buying into the gloom too. It feels like the covid thing is a warmup for whatever is coming next. It is the end times after all. It has felt like doom is impending, like the black cloud is moving overhead, and once it's completely covering us, it will come down, wrap itself around us and become our world. 

It has felt like that.

But external stuff is never who we are. I'm learning that what I focus on is who I am. When I focused on the black cloud, my life got more black. Then, and thank goodness for this blog and those who recommended it to me, I helped me changed my focus to the light. 

Now, I feel more light. 

In this week's reading in Helaman 7:17, Nephi has a quote that stops me in my tracks. "Why will ye die?" That's powerful to me. Why would any of us choose to die? Yet all of us do. Some more completely than others, but all of us do. When we, like the Nephites of this time choose to focus on stuff, and shift our focus away from Christ and our relationship with him, we die just a bit more spiritually. 

Same verse and the next: "Why has he forsaken you? Because you have hardened your hearts". And then to paraphrase the rest, we won't hear his voice, and make him angry.

In other words, He doesn't forsake us - we turn away from him. He's always ready to embrace us, but we can't see that because we have distanced ourselves so much from him that he seems too far away. 

"Why will ye die?"

The Come Follow Me lesson manual mentions that many individuals have received "many revelations daily". That can happen - I know it can happen. But instead, I allow myself to die a bit spiritually, and then it doesn't happen. Playing ultimate frisbee becomes more important than scripture reading, what I call "using my time well" means focusing on making money at the expense of filling my soul with light. Catching up on facebook, and delivering that awesome zinger becomes a greater quest than finding someone to serve and lift. 

Nephi used some graphic language in verse 19. "And behold instead of gathering you...he shall scatter you forth that ye shall become meat for dogs and wild beasts". Sometimes when we're that separated from God, we feel like we have no purpose. Like we're walking meat. Meaningless, purposeless, just breathing air for nothing. 

That's exactly what the adversary wants.

This blog is written primarily to me. I have to remember that there is time, and that I must create the time, to fill my soul. To brighten my light. To remember that I'm the Lord's light house. It's still the Lord's light, but to reflect it, I have to first let it in.

Come Follow Me: Why will ye die?

O repent ye, repent ye! Why will ye die? 

It's always been interesting to me that Nephi, the prophet in the Americas when Christ visited the Americas, mourned that he was placed in that time.

Here is a man who is the prophet of God in the American continent, and he does know Christ is about to come, but that hasn't happened yet, and what he really sees right now is just that things are going terribly. The people he is trying to love and save appear to be hopeless. The government has been taken over by those who will kill to achieve their purpose. And now is the time when leaders and men in power are just out for themselves. Times couldn't be more bleak, and he's the prophet in it all. 

One could imaging what his demons were telling him. "You're a failure". "If you were only as good as (fill in the blank) then things would be so much better". "You're letting God down". "God has to have given you the gifts to do your job, but somehow you still manage to be a horrible leader and prophet". "What would Christ say to his prophet who has so utterly failed him? You might as well quit now so you don't screw it up even more". Oh, and then there would be "you should quit - anybody else could do it better than you". 

Yeah, that kind of stuff. These are the kinds of things my demons say to me, and I'm sure the message is pretty similar for all of us.

But Nephi is a stronger, better man than I. Instead of wallowing in his own perceived failures, he focuses on the condition of his people. In Chapter 7 of Helaman, he starts out by doing a little bit of wallowing - he goes about wishing he'd been born in a different time and place. Thing are really bad at this time in his time and place, so one can't blame him too much.  

Side note: things don't seem so great to me and us right now either. Riots everywhere, cities being taken over, fire and destruction, and the Covid thing isn't awesome either. Everyone's angry, and it feels like we're an inch away from civil war. That said, I survived the late 1960's. I remember then that there was a war, that the teenagers were rioting then too, and that the oldsters (anyone over 30) was more than concerned about the future of the country. 

So why wouldn't Nephi regret the time that he lived in? He was the Lord's prophet, but to no one. The answer to that? Nephi was living in the greatest time in history! He was about to witness the coming of the Lord to his time and people. Now the other side of the coin - who wouldn't wish for that? To be there and witness the visit of the Creator? Who wouldn't give up their lives for a chance to live that one day? 

Nephi knew that his people had chosen death - spiritual death. It's an irony that when we distance ourselves from the Lord, we blame him. We feel like he distanced himself from us. Instead, he has allowed us to separate ourselves from Him exactly as much as we choose. 

Nephi's words tell me that when we separate ourselves from him, we're choosing death.Some would say that it's only a spiritual death, but it would be better for us to die physically. Still the words remain: "why will ye die?"

Or - we can live. Here's what living looks like to me: start writing this blog more. Sometimes it feels like doing something that doesn't make me money is a waste of time - I gotta do things that forward my goals. For me, if the hours are between 9 and 5, then if I'm not using the time to make money, I'm cheating myself - or that's the mantra. But doesn't an hour of focusing my thoughts on the Lord sharpen my saw and focus my other efforts? 

So I'll try to write more. I'll ignore the accusations that I'm doing this for whatever other reasons, and do it because I know it's good for me. I'll spend more of my time lifting myself and others, instead of coming up with the snarkiest comment that I can conjure so that my viewpoint "wins". 

I'll spend more time with those who lift and enlighten me, but find a way to fill my soul with enough light to spread that light. I have reason to believe that giving light away fills my light bucket even more. 

And if others don't accept that light? Then we're not different than Nephi. We can still offer our light. Whether others choose to receive that light is their choice - and their decisions don't make us a success or a failure. They just make us one of the Lord's lighthouses. 

Sometimes stepping on dog poop is divine guidance

So I'll begin this with two confessions: first is that I've slowed way down on writing, and it feels like I've slowed down on the divine guidance I receive as well. I let someone's comments get to me, and they killed my passion for showing gratitude. It affected me more than I would ever recognize or admit. To succeed at something, you have to wade past the naysayers and their opinions. I haven't succeeded at that.

Secondly, this blog was begun to describe the easter eggs and gems that I find in the scriptures, then explain what I gain from them. This time I'm not doing that - I'm expounding on the gem that I found in life. Not from the scriptures this time, but from life.

Here's the story: I was doing my job - a structural inspection on a home. It was built on a hillside about 30 years ago. The two walls on the slope were showing cracks, and they were in the foundation as well as the masonry (bricks). The home was moving, but it was 30 years old, and the cracks weren't terrible. The home would probably go another 30 years with the cracks either not moving, or in the worst case doubling in size. Even that scenario wasn't too much of a problem. I was leaning toward giving the home a pass.

The client mentioned that there were cracks on the interior walls, so someone went to the front door, then opened the basement sliding door for us so we could get in from the back yard. I checked my feet before going in, and sure enough, dog poop. I tried to clean my shoes  in the grass, but before I knew it, everyone had their shoes off. Despite my foot problems, I inhaled and accepted that I was going to be barefoot for the next 10 minutes.

So now we're all barefoot in the home, and the lady noticed it first. A crack that was now felt in the concrete beneath the carpet. She asked me to feel it, so over I stepped in my socks, and sure enough. Then others found more cracks and holes, even something that felt like a divot. And it's new carpet and new paint. Why is that a problem? Because when the floor is falling and the house is moving, sellers will cover the floor with new carpet and repaint the walls to get the home sold.

He is a biology professor, and she's a professional mom. They don't like risk. They said they didn't like any risk. They decided to not buy the home, based on how broken up the concrete was beneath their feet. Given that factor and the movement in the exterior walls, it was enough.

Had I not stepped in that dog donation, we would never have taken our shoes off. My clients would have bought a home where the home's structural issues would not have been noticed in time. I think it was about a $700,000 home. Not a purchase you want to make a mistake on.

So how does the Lord guide us? Any way he can. And if that guidance involves dog donations? So be it. I think the people doing guidance duty for me probably had a good laugh about that one.

Come Follow Me: The book of John, Love and the Peace of Christ

Most of us would like our lives to start out weak and finish strong. We'd like the end of our lives to finish with sparkles and fireworks, and we all hope that our best days are ahead of us. For example, we tend to avoid people who can only talk about how good they were in high school.

But for the prophets and apostles of Christ's era, life starts as high as high can be: hanging out with the creator of the universe? To bask in his radiance on a daily basis? To learn from him, breakfast lunch and dinner? That's pretty high. Nothing higher - nothing imaginably close.

Then, the persecution and the deaths. One can only imagine Peter, John and the others knowing the ultimate importance of the Word. Knowing that it could save the world and every soul in it, knowing that the man they loved gave His life so salvation could happen - but it wasn't happening. Instead, what few believers there were? Those people were being hurt. Dying, or defecting from the truth from the fear of being isolated, injured or killed. Imagine your daughter or son being taken away by the mob, and having to watch what they do to her, all because you still believe.

John mentioned the fear that surrounded him, but he didn't focus on that. Instead, he focused on love.

As a much younger version of me, more than a few decades ago, I was fascinated by the subject of light and truth. I learned that this is a beautiful and deep subject that went far deeper than I could ever go. The poetic beauty of this subject is not one that I feel qualified to share, so I would refer you to your own, and to the assistance of the Spirit. This is one of the things that John talked about - instead of the fear that surrounded him.

What struck me today was a paragraph in 1 John 2: 28. "And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming"

As always, the words are well chosen.

I remember being a child and being told that if we thought we'd be uncomfortable having a prophet or apostle in our homes, then we might be uncomfortable living with Christ, and his prophets and apostles on the other side. The thought scared me. If a prophet came, would he let me watch my usual string of Bugs Bunny, Gilligan's Island and Hogan's Heroes? Or would they make me read the scriptures all that time?

I've grown since then - at least a little. If an apostle were to live in my home with me for a night, or a week, I'd be more ready to treat it as an opportunity. What could I learn from him in this time? How much could I gather from him before I started wearing him out? How would I know when to stop asking questions?

More importantly, one can go back to the poetry of the verse above. Imagine, as children, we abide in our God, every day, and every week. Imagine that we feel His peace, know His love and bask in his light and truth on a regular basis. If we already do that now, then why wouldn't we be excited to do it more closely with Christ when we've died? Shame will be washed away, and confidence will fill the room as we bathe in the sunlight of our Savior's love.

Credit: Greg Olsen

The answer to how to do that is also in that verse. First, we have to be like children: meek, humble, prepared to do our master's will. We must seek out and abide in his love. We can learn of his love by loving others, as described elsewhere in the scriptures. The more we love others, the more we learn of His love for us, and the more we become comfortable in His love.

The Peace of Christ is an amazing gift. One I've been struggling to obtain and keep. It's the peace that allows us to be comfortable in His presence. It's the peace that allows us to retain our center, and our happiness, when others around us are screaming. It's what allows us to stand our ground, even though we're being taunted, isolated, and having unpleasant words thrown at us. It's how we know that those who stand with us are greater than those who stand against - even though physical numbers appear to be the other way. It's the peace that we can keep when the loan is not going through, or when loved ones are struggling, or when someone we love has cancer. It's the peace that allows us hope and fulfillment of soul when the whirlwind around us is trying to take everything away.

Come Follow Me: The book of Peter

One can only imagine that Peter's life must have been terrible. First, he's known primarily for denying Christ. Then, he becomes prophet and leader of a church that is temporarily growing, but terribly persecuted. He knows that the converts he brings in, and that all other converts, will be persecuted, many to death. One can only imagine what kind of persecutions those may be, but it's not just words like it is now. Back then, the most evil and despicable physical punishments were fair game. And the government not only allowed it, but participated in it.

He was persecuted that way as well. He knew because Christ had told him that one day he would be carried away against his will and killed brutally. He knew that everything he was trying to build would fail, and that the cause he was dedicating his life for would be taken away by evil men, and used by those same men to cause evil. He could easily have given up, knowing that no matter how hard he worked, no much how much abuse he suffered for the cause, it would all be erased, eliminated, and taken over by the power of the adversary.

I can't imagine how life could be harder.

credit: darrowmillerandfriends.com 

He would die, his followers would die. The Savior of the world, the Creator of the world, whose words he was responsible for spreading, who he had known so personally, must have come to his mind in every moment. How would He see Peter in the afterlife, knowing that the word had died on Peter's watch? And Peter denied him too? Was there any hope?

But Peter knew there was hope. His life wasn't one of despair. Instead, he knew Peace. In Peter 3:14 "..If ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are he: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled".

I can see his followers thinking that it's easy to say that when it's not your children who are taken from you and butchered in front of your eyes. The thing is, Peter shared in the terror. We don't know what kind of terror until he was butchered, but certainly he was intensely acquainted with the terror around him.

James 2:20 "For what glory is it, if when ye be buffeted for your faults, who shall take it patiently? But if when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God."

Dang. So we're supposed to expect, as followers of Jesus Christ, to not only not be protected from the results of our faults, but not protected by Christ when we didn't do anything wrong? What is the point if Christ won't help you?

The point is that Christ may or may not cause or allow physical issues to occur. He may allow trials of whatever sort, but the physical is not his first priority. I believe it's about our spirits, our souls, our real meaning. I believe that if he can cause or allow us to go through something that may enhance our wisdom, our knowledge, our empathy, or our inner strength, then that's a win. That's His work and His glory.

Peter knew that. He wasn't filled with despair at all. He had all the reason in the world to feel despair, but he chose something else.

1 Peter 5:6 "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time; 7 Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you...10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 11 To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen...14 Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus".

Here is a man who knows the peace of Christ. He had learned that what happens outside of you cannot affect your inner peace, unless you let that turmoil in. This is something I'm working on: I understand it but am working hard to make it real for me: Inner peace is personally owned and personally kept. Outside factors are just that: they are outside, and must not be let inside.

May we all gather the peace of Christ that Peter knew. May we let our circumstances make us greater. May we know the Prince of Peace as he did.

Come Follow Me: James

Sometimes it's painful when the Lord wants me to do things differently than I want to do them.

I'm doing this blog because someone who I love and respect told me to read the scriptures, then write about what I find. This of course results in me focusing on what I'm going to write about - that golden egg that can change my life. The thing that makes my life better for having discovered and internalized it.

So today I was reading James 1, and hoped to find something other than what's in James 1:5. I'd find some other gem, and my mind would expand on that, and then I could share something new.

As it turns out - no, and yes.

I found something new, at least to me, but it was still in verse 5. Worse yet, it took me about 10 seconds to find the nugget that inspired me enough to write. Now the problem: I really don't feel like I've done my "duty" to read more. Should I keep reading so I can hunt more, and feel like I've checked the "time spent reading" box? Or should I go with what I've been prompted with? The same little voice that said "here's your nugget" also said something like "if you blow past this nugget, it might be taken away".

This fits with everything I know about getting gifts and guidance. If you get one or the other, and you don't appreciate and expand on the gift, or you don't follow the guidance, it goes away. That, and I suspect that it sets you back on what gets provided to you in the future.

So - James 1:5 it is. Here's the nugget: if you lack wisdom, you've got choices. Heaven knows that it's a difficult world out there, especially for us saints. The gay thing is

Holding to the rod when things get tough

So things are in a bit of turmoil in my ward. We had the ward mission leader visit someone who was leaving the church, and instead of helping the person who he went to visit, he instead chose to leave the church as well. And presumably take his family with him. This is especially painful to me because I know him and his family, and they are beautiful, bright and warm people. I don't know the man that well personally, but he has a good reputation among others whose opinion I respect. He was a leader - how could that happen? How could a person who so many thought had it all together, find a way to give it all up?

And then we get someone else recently who decides to join the wicken religion and be a witch.

All of this happens while the ward has grown large enough to be split into two and a half new wards. Our ward, though huge, is very close. The thought of losing these amazing people is really painful. That split happened yesterday. Each of the wards will go to different buildings, so we won't even see them in the halls. These are people that we love.

So last night, with friends were were talking about holding onto the iron rod, and how easy it is to lose sight. My friend's kids are all well raised, intelligent and extremely insightful. One of them mentioned that he lost a friend to Satan's cause because that kid (I wish I could remember the words he used, but I'll make a stab at it) "turned off the switch, and then said that there was no light". He said that the kid slowed down on his scripture reading because of an operation and recovery, then never picked up the habit again. Next thing he knows, he's proudly exclaiming that the light he turned off wasn't on, and that it wasn't there.

So I'm a slacker too - writing like this is how I motivate myself to read. Often, but not always, I read and then write blogs like this. I used to look forward to reading ever morning, and finding that super juicy and inspirational easter egg in the scriptures. I loved how I could find something in there and have it fill my soul enough to need to write about it. I haven't done that in months, and so I felt the need to grab the rod again.

credit: moroni channell

And - to my small surprise, I open up the scriptures to (wait for it...) Nephi's discussion of the iron rod. I love it when I get little signs like that.

So here's the scenario. As a writer, sometimes I try to pour my heart and soul into something. I exert every brain cell's maximum as I passionately pour my soul and my feelings into a paragraph. I try to make it as powerful as possible so that I can fill the reader's soul with light. And when it's done? I have words. A paragraph.It's still just words, and the vast majority of my intended meaning still didn't make it to the reader.

Nephi did that. In 1 Nephi Chapter 15: 24 and 25, Nephi tried to use those kinds of words. "And I said unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction"

I could write another blog about that word "blindness", but that's for another day.

Then in verse 25 Nephi pours out his soul. I'll let you read that yourself.

We must hearken to the word of God, and hold fast to it. There is also room to discuss what "hearken" and "hold fast" mean. For me, today, it means I need to be better about opening my scriptures and searching them regularly. It means I need to hunt in them, and for me it means I must write about them so I can drive the gems I find more deeply into my brain, heart and soul.

We can all do better, but most notably I can do better. I commit do doing that, and you'll probably be able to see how well I succeed.

Who decides who the prophet is?

After a long pause in my scripture study, and after realizing that my spiritual meter has taken a long pause as well, I have decided to make a change. Words with Friends is a good game - nothing wrong with it - but when it replaces the time I use to build myself and my soul, it becomes a problem.

Credit: inthecavityofarock.blogspot.com

I found Helaman today. The Book of Mormon generally is just easy reading for me. There's something extra direct about the word of God in that book. I opened to Helaman 13 verse 24. Helaman is the first Lamanite prophet. Up until that time, the Lamanites were the wayward guys - the offspring of the children who didn't get it. The Nephites were the good guys - or they had been. Here's the Lamanite prophesying to the Nephites. I'm sure they took one look at him, and even at the color of his skin perhaps, and decided that someone like that couldn't be a prophet.

They didn't know what a prophet was, and most of us don't either. He said "wo unto this people...ye do cast out the prophets, and do mock them, and cast stones at them, and do slay them, and do all manner of iniquity...". Then he went on to describe what they decided was a prophet: "behold, if a man come among you and shall say: Do this and there is no iniquity; do that and ye shall not suffer...ye will receive him and say that he is a prophet".

So they, and we basically decide that if what is being said appeals to our existing lifestyle, and allows us to sink deeper into our own comfortable pit, then that guy is a prophet. I'd say that perhaps the dude is not a prophet, but an excuse.

So how do you find a prophet? First off, a man is a prophet not because of what any person says or thinks. He's a prophet because the Lord made him one. If Joe and John both say that they are prophets, and billions of people think it's Joe, that still doesn't make him a prophet. If John gets one vote from the Lord, he's the prophet.

So if it's the Lord that makes the decision, how do we know? We're not going to appeal to the opinions of others, or even to our own physical or mental opinion. That's all coming from muscle patterns and neurons. Physical stuff doesn't get us there. Truth comes from the soul.

One of the greatest battles I run into is individuals who believe they can think their way into believing Christ and the gospel. This is like trying to hear a smell. Like trying to see a sound. You can try to describe using the wrong sense, but at best it's still an approximation.

To know if a man is a prophet, we must use our soul. If the vessel is pure, if the gift is not blocked, then the Lord will tell us who the prophet is. Then our duty is not just to know that guy is a prophet, but to seek and follow his words. There's not much use knowing that a shovel is a shovel, then not use it if you need to dig a hole.

Prophets speak to worldwide audiences twice a year. One of those moments is coming up. It's up to me to make sure I listen, knowing that they are prophets.

Things I learned from a pigeon

So first, a little bit of back story. As I began this blog, I was originally instructed to read the scriptures and then write about what I learned.  It caused me to read scriptures in a totally different way, and I learned and grew much. I learned to find those beautiful easter eggs in the scriptures, then as I found them, the writing flowed.

So today I depart from that formula to write about what I see. I am building a home. By all measures, it's my dream home. It's my wife's dream home, and when we move in, it would be my dream home even if it was a tin shack - I'd have the right woman to share it with.

So the entire east side of the home is pretty much all glass. There's a view there - perhaps one of the most spectacular views on the planet. There is all manner of wildlife, but especially birds - birds I've never seen before in my life, but they are there in great abundance on the back side - the east side - of this wood frame wonder.

I was there the other day running some wire, and I heard chirping and repeated failed attempts to get through the upstairs sliding glass door. It was a pigeon, exhausted, but trying and failing over and over to fly through the glass. Each time, a squalk of desperation, exhausted wings, and the same result.  Failure. Death was coming fast for this trapped creature.

But just a few feet to the side, there are four windows that are not installed yet. This pigeon simply had to wander over there. A few hops perhaps, and then the living would have gone back to being easy. Bugs, seeds, and all of the things that make a pigeon's life beautiful are right there. But our pigeon would die there if I didn't save it. Why? because it thought it knew what to do, would not try anything else, and could not ask others to assist.

I climbed the ladder to get to the second floor and looked at the pigeon. Now, pigeons are not my wife's favorite bird - they're loud in the morning and we have many on our roof where we live now. Right at the bottom on the totem pole of bird awesomeness.

But I looked at this one. Small, beautiful, elegant, and desperately in need. It was too tired to be afraid of me. It just sat there while I walked into the room, toward the bird and the door. I gently opened the glass door, and walked away. It took a minute, but then it happened, and I saw a couple of pigeons flying around together. Reunited in all of their pigeon happiness, and the day was beautiful for them again.

And I wondered, how often are we like this pigeon? Our life is in the swamp - we've trapped ourselves. It's not working, and we're desperate. Still, we will not turn to anyone other than ourselves. Whether it's pride that stops us, or a lack of belief or knowledge of the gifts of God, or simply stubbornness. Maybe it's an insistence that we've got ourselves into this swamp and and we'll get ourselves out of it - or die trying. And the last thing we want to do is admit that we don't have as many of the answers as we thought we did.

The Lord sometimes will come open the door for us, but I suspect that often he waits for us to request that the door be opened. Or maybe he'll go into our room and herd us (guide us) toward a window, hoping that we'll give up our old belief set and fly through a window instead. I suspect that if He just opens the door for us to make our lives easier, we learn nothing. And the next time we trap ourselves? We either become dependent and fail to grow, or are found once again in a life or death swamp - no further ahead than we were before.

It's not always about trying harder, or trying again. And this pains me to say, but it's not always about not being afraid to fail. Sometimes we just have to try something new - something we've never tried before. And sometimes our little bird brain just can't get us there. We have to rely on the Lord. May we surrender our will and do so always.

For thus it whispereth me

It seems like the most important stuff we do always takes last place. It's been two months since my last post, and I used to do ten a month. Yes, I've been busy, but not too busy to keep up on a dozen or so active games on words with friends. Sadly but not strangely, I've been feeling further apart from our Savior. I still know his voice, but I don't feel it nearly as often as I used to. I still have the will to be the vessel that reflects His light, but I don't think about it as much as I used to.

But there's always hope. With no ward choir this morning (mother's day) I have an extra hour. So what did I do? I finished my words with friends games, then turned to the scriptures. It feels like going back home.

I had more trouble spotting that easter egg, but I found a good one. Words of Mormon, verse 7. I know Mormon to be a great man, full of wisdom, and possessor of a life that I would never want. Still, he found his greatness, he filled his calling, and he knew the voice of the Lord.

In the early verses, he talks about finding the plates of Nephi, and he saw how they were written in until they were full, then the last dude quit. I guess that's an easter egg of its own - one level of being is to write until the paper you're handed is full. Another level is to fill the paper with what's important, then figure out how to go make some more paper. Hey, it's what the Lord had available at the time I guess.

So those plates are now filled, and Mormon finds them, and stacks them with the rest of what will become his book - the Book of Mormon. He doesn't consider himself an author - he's a soldier and man of God. He doesn't understand what it's all about, and he doesn't know what the next steps are. He just knows that the spirit of the Lord is telling him to do these tasks. Being a good soldier, and a prophet of God, he does that.

Verse 7: "For this it whispereth me..." How I know this phrase. Mormon was a good soldier, so when he got an order, he recognized it and he did it - now. He was a prophet of God, so when he got instructions, he executed them - now. And because he did so, the Lord knew He could give Mormon more instructions, and that they would be executed. This helps Mormon to save his people, and himself, and has much to do with why Mormon became a great man of God.

I love the language. "It whispereth me". I get that languages can put verbs and nouns in different orders, but this is unusual language, even for the scriptures. He's saying something unusual. He doesn't know exactly what "it" is, but he knows "it" is of God. He knows it comes as a whisper. In other circles that whisper is called a still, small voice. It's hard to describe, but the closer you align yourself to God, the more you know when you're being whispered to.

For me, when I'm aligned with my Savior, I call it my voice. I get that it feels like a whisper, but there's not a sound - it's just in my head. It is gently placed there, so that you have to be ready and aligned, or prepared to hear it. And then you have to act on it. Asking questions, or wondering if the source was really from God can result in orders lost, and furthers orders perhaps not received.

But the peace, and the confidence, and the love for self and others, and the settledness of a lifestyle that comes from following the voice? I have to say that the things I'm told, and the joy I get from doing them and seeing the results from others? That's fun! I love that.

And now I'm wondering why I spend so much time on facebook and words with friends, and why I'm not doing what's really exciting. I guess it's time to change my ways.

Humble Reaching: Having ears to hear

I listened to a talk in Sacrament meeting today about reaching. It was a powerful story, well presented. The speaker described her very imaginative and talkative five year old niece who was visiting temple square. A mall with fountains is found cross the street. This little girl looked at the black waters in one of the water features, and pronounced that Satan. The water was filled with black stones, so that gave the appearance of darkness. Then she looked at the fountains of water coming from that pool, and that water was clear. She decided that represented Jesus. This angel wanted to touch Jesus, so she climbed, reached and stretched and asked for help. Then she touched the water, and proudly proclaimed to all that were near that she touched Jesus!

A similar thing happened in this week's reading. Luke 8 describes how a woman reached out and touched Jesus. At that moment in history, people touching Jesus was not an unusual occurrence - there was a huge group of people, and all of them wanted to be close to Him. The difference was that they wanted to touch the miracle causer; the rock star; the new kid in town. This woman wanted something different. She wasn't about curiosity, and she wasn't about posting a selfie with Jesus. She had faith and a purpose, and wanted to touch the Son of God. She believed that He could heal her.

She also reached. She did what she could do for herself. Her actions included getting herself to the place where Christ would be, and positioning herself.  She had gained enough faith to know that Christ could do this for her, then she reached. Christ did the rest.

How different it is to acknowledge God, compared to accessing His power through humble reaching.

Another thing that strikes me in these chapters is the  phrase "he that hath ears to hear, let him hear". This is kind of the same thing as above for me actually - we all have arms, but few of us reach. We all have ears, but few of us want to know what Christ needs us to do. We'd love to have Christ show up and give us a clear path for what we need to do next - but only if those instructions fit our existing lifestyle. Otherwise? Not interested. And it would be convenient if those words that we want to hear from Christ didn't involve having to go anywhere to hear them. Just do it between my breaks at work, thank you very much.

I have discussed this in other posts - Christ protects us from ourselves by giving to us only what we are willing to manage. With parables, Christ can give great wisdom to those who reach for great wisdom, but if you didn't really want to know? Then he can hide what might have been damming to your soul behind the same parable. It's an act of love - not giving us what He knows we can't or won't handle.

And then a scripture that has always made me scratch my head: Matthew 13:11 and 12
He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.

For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.

So why would the Lord give to those who are already "rich" and take from the poor? Isn't that backwards? I thought it was always about giving to those who didn't have - isn't that right?

In this scripture, I believe that Christ wasn't talking about physical needs, but spiritual strength. Those who have ears, and listen, will be given more learning - because they listen. Those who have arms that reach for him will find him, and be healed. Those who want to get close to him for a really awesome facebook selfie with Christ? From them "it" will be taken away. We all have to be careful about that - are our motivations to get close to Christ, or to appear that way? Do we do things to check the box, or do we do things to show our love for Christ and to be His disciple?

I should probably quit here because it might appear that I view myself as "above", and that I'm preaching. This is not my goal. It's just what's coming to me as I think and type.

 I've spent a great deal of my life being very interested in pleasing others so I could have friends. I'm starting to learn that as I settle in to being comfortable with who I am, which is a disciple of Christ, that friends come to me. I'm grateful for that. Still a lot of issues, but I'm reaching. I hope that's enough.