John 20 Believing without seeing

 So I'm a bit stuck. I feel like I have failed at being consistent in doing this blog. I know that nobody really reads it, and that's OK - I'm choosing to understand that someday, some one person will take value from whatever. Yet I feel like I've been lazy. I took time off - years - then come back to it, then get distracted again and take a month off. Good habits are hard to start and easy to stop. 

Now I review this upcoming week's Come Follow Me lesson and what stops me is the story of Thomas. He was a disciple of Christ, presumably now an apostle. Yet he wouldn't believe that Christ had been resurrected until he saw it himself. This is one of the 12. 

How painful must it be for God to rely on us unreliable humans to get the work done? This is the 12 that will carry the work forward, but the leader just denied Christ (whether he was commanded to is a subject for another day), and another sold Him for the equivalent of a few bucks, and now we have another that only thinks he can get confirmation with his senses? 

That's right, the five senses. And some of us might add the brain and its brainpower to that list. If these physical things can convince us, then we're convinced. At least until some other thing happens, and then we're not convinced. 

How much easier would it be for everyone involved if we just recognized that the five senses and the brain were good at what they do, but if you want spiritual stuff then you go to the sense for that? That sense would be the spirit we all have and its connection with the Holy Ghost. If we haven't slammed the door, locked it and then deadbolted it 6 times, that door is open for us. That door is how we learn about Christ and what he has planned for us. 

I'm no biblical scholar, but I expect that this Thomas story might be the last place he was mentioned in the bible. He likely took the physical miracle that he witnessed and did nothing with it. There were crucified hands, but there was probably no inner change. He testified of Christ - but only perhaps that once. Physical miracles, proofs, and mental arguments won will last - for maybe a day. 

The chapter reads about how Jesus blew on the apostles. In their defense, they had just received the Gift of the Holy Ghost, or maybe the blowing was that gift being bestowed. If they had never received that gift before, then it would be unfair to disparage them for not having and using it. Still, the Gift of the Holy Ghost is now given to all men so we can use it. Guidance we gain from God is likely a bit more reliable than what we can deduce, feel, or see. Deductions can be reduced, and physical manifestations are great show and tells, but do little to change us, motivate us, or direct us toward being who we need to be. 

It's easy to see how I'm as guilty as anyone. My motivation was to write this so that some person who I presumably will never know or meet may be benefitted. I got a good start, but I let the smallest of physical blocks get in my way. If nobody is cheering me on, it's hard to keep going. The moral of the story for me? To do this because of what it does for one "reader" - me. 

Matthew 23: Come Follow Me May 23 - Hypocrisy and doing it the right way

So I consider myself a writer - a guy who can use words to accomplish the goal of expressing my stuff. I'm certain that there are others who are better - much better - at it than me, but it's a tool I have.

So recently I ran for the HOA board. Things were bad. I'd been accused the previous cycle of being a bully and a terrorist, but mostly they just didn't want me to run because they didn't like my viewpoints. I wanted more customer service and less totalitarian rule mongering. In round 1 a year ago, I made my point clear, and they cancelled me as a candidate. That made a lot of people very upset, including me.

So this year I prepared my speeches. I was going to let them have it, but with no language that could be described as threatening, bullying, or anything of the sort. It would be strongly worded and clear, and most importantly, written so that nobody could make up claims about what I had said.

In this written speech, I used words like insanity. I used words like "provable lies" and "that level of lying was done easily by some". I used words like "illegal, immoral, dishonest and reprehensible". I let them have it with no foul language, no threats or abuse, but with as much verbal objection as I could muster. I thought it was pretty strong. 

Then this week I run into Jesus denouncing the hypocrites - the Pharisees and Saducees. Now that man knows how to lay it on thick. How to be clear. And he was handing it to those with the greatest power in the land. In this chapter, Jesus began a lot of verses with "Wo unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!" He didn't just lay it on them once or twice, he hammered it home. 

Then he used words like "child of hell", "blind guides", "full of extortion and excess", 
"full of dead men's bones" and "whited sepulchres." Now that man knew how to be clear. And what's amazing is we get that much clarity even after the scripture was translated by men a few times. The side of me that appreciates a good solid denunciation feels like this is pure poetry. He held nothing back, other than perhaps sending a few lightning bolts their direction. He did this perfectly, of course.

So what occurs to me is that here are the spiritual leaders who he knows to be empty shells of spirituality. They are like the fig tree that had no figs. Like the fig tree, they looked like they were something, but they had no fruit. They were all show and no reality. Posers who really just relished the power - not the spirituality and depth that should have come with their position. 

So Jesus then found the man who was considered by society the worst of the worst. A tax collector who was rich. Even in our day that man would have few friends. Yet Jesus and this man knew that he was a good man. He was fair with everyone and made things more than right when he was wrong. He had a position that made men despise him. His career was considered something akin to a sepulchre but he was a good man. Jesus knew that and ate with him. 

Jesus didn't care about the perceived spirituality of a person, he didn't care if their position in life appeared to demand respect or derision. He only cared if the tree bore fruit. 

There are people and religions that to me, appear to be full of words and appearance, but when it comes to lifestyle and commitment, well they're empty. That's how it appears to me. Lots of hallelujah and shouting praise, but less humility, service, and following the Lord. 

There are some lessons for me here. What does bearing fruit mean for me personally? From my chair, it means something less flashy than sitting in a powerful position for me. It means blooming where I'm planted. Accepting what I can't control. It means that I need to be careful about thinking that those in power are always to be looked up to, and those not in power have less to give. It means that I need to look at what I give, not what chair I sit in. I can't begin to tell you how I struggle with all of that. 

John Chapter 11: Guidance and grey matter

 For years now, I've been on a kick about using our brain for brain stuff, and using our spiritual senses for spiritual stuff. I think we get too tied up thinking we can deduce, or calculate truth. I use the term calculate because as an engineer, that's how we determine what the right answer is. 

That's great if you're an engineer and you want to figure out what size that beam or column should be. That's how it should be done. Yes, there is experience, and experience can sometimes indicate what the size of that floor joist should be. That's an example from the engineering field, but it's also an example of how we think that we can use our grey matter to figure out all things. 

The concept I'm approaching may be perhaps best described as trying to hear a smell, or to feel a sight. There may be some approximations, such as a blind man using his fingers to "see" a person's face, but these are approximations at best, and are only a shadow of what being able to use your eyes means if you want to see a person's face - or a vista of trees, lakes and mountains. 

But we as humans think that the five senses we have and our own puny brains are all we need to ascertain truth. Clearly, if that were the case then we could just have a handful of smart people tell us all how life is. They would all agree with each other and we could just live their way. The problem is that the smarter that people proclaim that they are, the more they are likely to disagree with people who also proclaim their own genius. To me, it's clear that there's something missing. 

Another example of this is religion itself. If the bible were able to provide all the answers by itself through thorough study, then someone would be able to come up with a list of all truths from the bible, and we'd have only one religion. But super intelligent, well researched opinions are all over the place. There are any number of Christian religions, and they all have a team of scholars who claim they've done the research and that their way is the only way. 

But what if using your brain to deduce spiritual things is like trying to hear a smell? If we have five senses and a brain (let's call that a sixth gift), what if we're using the wrong gift still? What if we were to use a seventh gift to help us arrive at truth? Here's what I'm thinking: there is one God, and He loves us, and He'll help us if we allow him to help us. So if we're looking for spiritual truth (or perhaps any truth), why don't we go to Him? Wouldn't it be better to hear a sound than try to smell it? Isn't it better to rely on our spiritual pipeline with God than use some lesser gift to try and approach the right gift? 

Someone told me once that if the only tool you have is a hammer, then all problems look like nails. If what you really need is a set of pliers or a screwdriver but you only have a hammer, then you'll just hammer the nail in. It might work - kinda - but the result will be much less than successful. So it is, I believe, with relying on our brain for all things spiritual. There is a role for our brain, but we need the full toolbox. 

So in John 11, the religious leaders - who theoretically had the spiritual toolbox in place - sat down and decided that Jesus was doing too many miracles. Their reasoning was that men would believe Jesus, and then the Romans would come in and destroy the country. That logic may have been more fear and conjecture, but it was their logic. They decided that it was better for one man to die than they lose their country. Perhaps that was true in their minds, but what if that One Man was the creator of the universe? 

Here's a trolley question for you: if you knew that either the creator of the universe would die or a nation of his creation? What would you choose? But that's a false question. If you don't execute the Creator, there's a pretty good likelihood that good things follow. 

Contrast this with Nephi's mandate to kill Laban. In this case things were turned the other way: Nephi's spiritual pipeline with God, his spiritual gift which was well developed and strong, told him to execute Laban. His intelligence and earthly knowledge had a big problem with that. What did he pick? He knew that serving God was the highest priority. The Pharisees were serving themselves because I expect that they were less concerned about losing the nation and more concerned about losing their position. If Jesus created a new spiritual order, they would be jobless and irrelevant. That must have terrified them - so it was acceptable to them to kill Jesus - creator of the universe or not. 

So how does one develop what I'll call the seventh gift? I guess it's not that mysterious. I've been going to the gym lately. I'm trying to lose my fat belly and trying to get my chest to be more pronounced than the belly. I've seen results, but it doesn't happen overnight. It's a gradual process. Spiritual progress may be the same way - line upon line. Precept on precept. Opening ourselves up to the sunlight of the Lord. Accepting his Peace. Showing our willingness to follow him by doing what's right. Following the prompts we receive. Asking for more in prayers and building that gift. Over time, the pipeline goes from nothing, to a needle's diameter, to a straw size, then larger. 

May we find greater success and happiness by making our spiritual gift from the Lord our first sense we rely on. It's a much better way to live. 

Come Follow Me: John 7-10 Being His sheep

 So this week's Come Follow Me study lesson is John 7-10. As I approach it, I look back on the days three years ago when I was writing every day. I feel like the inspiration came more easily back then. That I could just start writing and things that I thought were deeper would just come to me. 

Being vulnerable a bit here, I don't feel that way now. I approach today's blog feeling like it's more of a thing I have to do in order to honor a commitment to myself. If I let it drop off, I let myself down - as well as who knows who else. But that's a different set of motivations than me wanting to write so I can be lifted and lift others. 

I believe that it's true that doing the right thing can come with different levels of motivation, but that doing something for a lower motivation is better than not doing it. For example, is bringing over dinner to a shut-in grudgingly better than not doing it? Probably, depending on how it's done - there are different levels to even that - but I'm thinking that doing it in a non-pissy way is better than not doing it. 

So as I read in John, it rings familiar to me that even Jesus when he walked the earth he didn't convince everybody. The God of the universe, the only perfect man, was still not able to convince everyone and bring them to the truth. Why? Of course part of it probably has much to do with agency. Another part of it likely has to do with whether we're "his sheep". 

I think most of us would say that if an angel stood in front of us and told us to do "X", we'd do it. I believe that's probably not what would happen though. We would maybe do the task grudgingly, or give ourselves a pass because we doubt whether we're up to the task. Or think the messenger was a psychotic moment - or a dream - or a hallucination, or a prank. There are excuses aplenty. 

And here's another thought: why would a God who knows us and loves us by giving us an angelic moment like that if he believes or knows that we would not follow through? An unfollowed angelic message would certainly condemn us - and a loving God wouldn't want that for us. 

So Jesus taught in a way that was uniquely him (John 4:46) and did miracles. Proof enough? Apparently not. Those who were not spiritually ready so see and accept just used the miracles as an opportunity to theorize and debate. The Lord's sheep noted the miracles, but the miracles didn't make people the Lord's sheep. 

So then for me the question is how do you become one of the Lord's sheep? Rather than argue about the Lord's guidance, how do you become the person that receives it, knows it, obeys it, and is lifted and protected for it? 

The Lord didn't leave that out in this chapter. He says "My sheep hear my voice". There may be any number of loud voices calling us in each of 1000 ways. How do you figure out which voice you follow? I think the answer is that you don't. You learn who your master is, who your shepherd is, and then you follow that voice. The more we do it, the easier it is to remember and follow that voice. When we listen to other voices, the difficulty of hearing the one True voice increases substantially. 

John 7:14-17 even gives us the pathway to become his sheep. Of course it's simple. Based on my experience, the Lord doesn't have difficult recipes. "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine". So we keep the commandments. That's how we learn his voice.

I go to the scene of the meth addict who says "well if God sends me a message, I'll dedicate my life". I'd say probably not. To know of the doctrine, we need to do his will. He needs to know that what he gives us will result in a blessing to us, not a curse. 

This is the part where I try to wrap things up in a cute little ball. I don't have it. I guess at least with this blog post right now, I'm doing His will. Even if my motivations were less than excellent, I still did His will. That's more than nothing. For that, I'll give myself a win today. 

Come Follow Me: Matthew 18 and Luke 10 - Forgiveness 70 times 7

 So as a person who is as broken as any of us, I have to smile at recent events. One of my weaknesses is that I'm not very good at forgiving. I have stuff with my siblings that go back 20+ years, and I have made a number of steps, but inside me, I really have trouble forgiving them.

Then yesterday. I was invited to play pickleball. This is a game I can enjoy because it's very personal. Unlike tennis where you're too far away to talk, or racquetball where you can't hear because you're in a concrete cave, pickleball is more personal. You're only a few feet from anyone playing, and you can easily hear anybody say anything. 

So imagine my thoughts as I walk in to the court and see people that are not exactly on my happy list. In order, here's a description:

• Person one was a political opponent, if only for the HOA. I felt that I was tired of the nazi style command and control nature of the HOA leadership, so after it got bad enough I decided to stand up and resist the craziness. First this man angrily stood up and said "I want to know who is going to support the CC&R's". Well, that wasn't me. I intended to use my own head. CC&R's are what they are, but I wasn't about to warm the chair & quote CC&R's - I was going to make a culture change. A flimsy excuse was used to cancel my candidacy, and I believe this person was the one who spearheaded that. This person and I haven't talked since that time, and we tend to avoid each other in church. He was one of the pickleball players. 
• Person two is a narcissist with all that comes with that. She has to win. She'll talk about how famous she is. I could go on but that would be perhaps needlessly unkind. This is the kind of person I try to avoid because I prefer to surround myself with people who lift me. She is not that kind of person. She was another of the pickleball players. 
• The third is a well meaning dude, but playing sports with him can be frustrating. There is no rule that doesn't predictably bend his way. There is no line call that doesn't result favorably for him. For me, that feels like a mixture of a need to control and a bit of self centeredness. He's the other person on the court. 

And now I'm on the court with all of them. I can't even rotate the teams so that I'm partnered with the
most favorable one, because they're all unfavorable. 

So now I run into this week's Come Follow Me lesson and we get forgiveness as one of the main themes. I think that's super funny because it's my reminder from somewhere upstairs that I have a forgiveness problem. Forgive 70 times 7? Shoot, it's hard for me to forgive once or twice sometimes. 

So how do I forgive somebody who I believe cancelled my candidacy in the shadiest of methods? I'd like to say that maybe I recognize that everybody does stupid stuff - I certainly do. That's not enough for me though - I wish I could write it off that easily. Maybe he had a valid reason in his head for doing what he did. Maybe he was used to using the rules and the power he had to his favor. Maybe it was just a routine power play for him - a game politicians play. Unremarkable for him, life changing for me. 

Years ago, I listened for a while as another person I know well complained about this church leader and that. I asked her a question I shouldn't have: "Is it OK with you that other people are imperfect?" She blew up and was angry about that for a very long time. The funny thing is that I can give her grief about not being OK with imperfection, but I can't do it myself. I struggle just to play pickleball with people whose imperfections I see. 

Maybe it's not about finding a justification in my mind for why I should forgive (he was just being political, etc), and just forgiving. Christ can forgive him - or not. That's for Him to decide. Maybe it's as simple as me just playing pickleball - or moving ahead with life as the case may be. 

Hard. It's very hard. 

Pushing through because it's the right thing

 It's been well over 2 years since my last blog post. I had a roll going - I think it was about 140 posts or so. This blog hasn't been well read - usually I get about 30 or so that read it. From my point of view, it's iffy whether that's enough for me to feel I make a difference, and I'll certainly never make a nickel from it. 

I quit because people that I care about criticized it and me for doing it. I'm getting rich off of having a voice, they said. I'm trying to project my awesomeness, even though I and others know that I'm far from awesome. I'm trying to make somebody in a far away place think I've got things figured out. None of that would be true. 

The challenge that was given me was to read a scripture or something inspiring, then write about it. I was just reading Come Follow Me on my phone, and noticed the same thing I noticed every other time I do that kind of study: Record Your Impressions. It's front and center on the beginning of every lesson. Record your impressions. It's time for me to do that again.

What I found while I was following the challenge to read and then write, that I was growing. My inner spirituality was growing greatly. I was being lifted while I wrote things, and I was lifted after that moment. This is why I do it - or at least why I did it. I'd like to think that I've grown up enough to do what I do because I choose to do it, but apparently I'm still so weak that I'd let criticism from others stop me from making my own choices. That needs to end, and today's post will hopefully be the beginning of the new journey - or perhaps a resuming of the old one. 

So what wisdom do I have to share today? I watched President Nelson's easter message on forgiving. Normally I pass on those messages - I'm not mister eat, live and breathe church stuff, but today I listened. The message was inspiring. 

I also saw on facebook a post about forgiveness - about a preacher who was saying that we should forgive, if only because the Lord is willing to forgive us. Apparently it's forgiveness day for me. I'm going to be a bit vulnerable because I don't think anybody in my circles will read this anyway, but I've struggled for years with certain family members. From my point  of view, they turned on me when I needed support the most. I was even fired as a customer by my only brother because I was going through a hard divorce. My thought at the time was something like "well if they think the ex is their family, then that's who they'll get". It was very dark and poisonous to me, and decades later, I still haven't let it all go.

But President Nelson's message is that if we forgive, we'll also be forgiven. There is scriptural backup to that. It's funny but I gave my sister grief once for not being ok with people being imperfect. Then I turn around and get upset because I won't let her be imperfect. 

I don't have a glowing finish to this blog - I don't know how to beautifully tie up the concept that forgiveness is something we all want. But I restarted the blog, and that's perhaps enough for today. 

Maybe I'll just forgive myself for walking away from this blog and from my voice for 2.5 years. I'll do that. 

How could you forget?

Nephi asked his people "have your forgotten your God?" and the answer is that of course they had. But looking back at it, why would we forget priority one? Why make priority 99 more important than priority 1? 

It's a crazy time. Fires to the west, tornadoes to the east. Earthquakes local. And then there's the covid thing. Yeah - that's happening too. 

There's a coin shortage for some reason. People live for the opportunity to cut someone down to size. To be right on facebook by taking someone else out is the ultimate proof of internet man card. Snark rules. There's no church, and when there is church, you see only some of the people you know and love for a minute - and they're behind a mask. There is no embracing, no handshaking, no connection. There is no "us", only "me" and 'you". 

I've fell victim to buying into the gloom too. It feels like the covid thing is a warmup for whatever is coming next. It is the end times after all. It has felt like doom is impending, like the black cloud is moving overhead, and once it's completely covering us, it will come down, wrap itself around us and become our world. 

It has felt like that.

But external stuff is never who we are. I'm learning that what I focus on is who I am. When I focused on the black cloud, my life got more black. Then, and thank goodness for this blog and those who recommended it to me, I helped me changed my focus to the light. 

Now, I feel more light. 

In this week's reading in Helaman 7:17, Nephi has a quote that stops me in my tracks. "Why will ye die?" That's powerful to me. Why would any of us choose to die? Yet all of us do. Some more completely than others, but all of us do. When we, like the Nephites of this time choose to focus on stuff, and shift our focus away from Christ and our relationship with him, we die just a bit more spiritually. 

Same verse and the next: "Why has he forsaken you? Because you have hardened your hearts". And then to paraphrase the rest, we won't hear his voice, and make him angry.

In other words, He doesn't forsake us - we turn away from him. He's always ready to embrace us, but we can't see that because we have distanced ourselves so much from him that he seems too far away. 

"Why will ye die?"

The Come Follow Me lesson manual mentions that many individuals have received "many revelations daily". That can happen - I know it can happen. But instead, I allow myself to die a bit spiritually, and then it doesn't happen. Playing ultimate frisbee becomes more important than scripture reading, what I call "using my time well" means focusing on making money at the expense of filling my soul with light. Catching up on facebook, and delivering that awesome zinger becomes a greater quest than finding someone to serve and lift. 

Nephi used some graphic language in verse 19. "And behold instead of gathering you...he shall scatter you forth that ye shall become meat for dogs and wild beasts". Sometimes when we're that separated from God, we feel like we have no purpose. Like we're walking meat. Meaningless, purposeless, just breathing air for nothing. 

That's exactly what the adversary wants.

This blog is written primarily to me. I have to remember that there is time, and that I must create the time, to fill my soul. To brighten my light. To remember that I'm the Lord's light house. It's still the Lord's light, but to reflect it, I have to first let it in.

Come Follow Me: Why will ye die?

O repent ye, repent ye! Why will ye die? 

It's always been interesting to me that Nephi, the prophet in the Americas when Christ visited the Americas, mourned that he was placed in that time.

Here is a man who is the prophet of God in the American continent, and he does know Christ is about to come, but that hasn't happened yet, and what he really sees right now is just that things are going terribly. The people he is trying to love and save appear to be hopeless. The government has been taken over by those who will kill to achieve their purpose. And now is the time when leaders and men in power are just out for themselves. Times couldn't be more bleak, and he's the prophet in it all. 

One could imaging what his demons were telling him. "You're a failure". "If you were only as good as (fill in the blank) then things would be so much better". "You're letting God down". "God has to have given you the gifts to do your job, but somehow you still manage to be a horrible leader and prophet". "What would Christ say to his prophet who has so utterly failed him? You might as well quit now so you don't screw it up even more". Oh, and then there would be "you should quit - anybody else could do it better than you". 

Yeah, that kind of stuff. These are the kinds of things my demons say to me, and I'm sure the message is pretty similar for all of us.

But Nephi is a stronger, better man than I. Instead of wallowing in his own perceived failures, he focuses on the condition of his people. In Chapter 7 of Helaman, he starts out by doing a little bit of wallowing - he goes about wishing he'd been born in a different time and place. Thing are really bad at this time in his time and place, so one can't blame him too much.  

Side note: things don't seem so great to me and us right now either. Riots everywhere, cities being taken over, fire and destruction, and the Covid thing isn't awesome either. Everyone's angry, and it feels like we're an inch away from civil war. That said, I survived the late 1960's. I remember then that there was a war, that the teenagers were rioting then too, and that the oldsters (anyone over 30) was more than concerned about the future of the country. 

So why wouldn't Nephi regret the time that he lived in? He was the Lord's prophet, but to no one. The answer to that? Nephi was living in the greatest time in history! He was about to witness the coming of the Lord to his time and people. Now the other side of the coin - who wouldn't wish for that? To be there and witness the visit of the Creator? Who wouldn't give up their lives for a chance to live that one day? 

Nephi knew that his people had chosen death - spiritual death. It's an irony that when we distance ourselves from the Lord, we blame him. We feel like he distanced himself from us. Instead, he has allowed us to separate ourselves from Him exactly as much as we choose. 

Nephi's words tell me that when we separate ourselves from him, we're choosing death.Some would say that it's only a spiritual death, but it would be better for us to die physically. Still the words remain: "why will ye die?"

Or - we can live. Here's what living looks like to me: start writing this blog more. Sometimes it feels like doing something that doesn't make me money is a waste of time - I gotta do things that forward my goals. For me, if the hours are between 9 and 5, then if I'm not using the time to make money, I'm cheating myself - or that's the mantra. But doesn't an hour of focusing my thoughts on the Lord sharpen my saw and focus my other efforts? 

So I'll try to write more. I'll ignore the accusations that I'm doing this for whatever other reasons, and do it because I know it's good for me. I'll spend more of my time lifting myself and others, instead of coming up with the snarkiest comment that I can conjure so that my viewpoint "wins". 

I'll spend more time with those who lift and enlighten me, but find a way to fill my soul with enough light to spread that light. I have reason to believe that giving light away fills my light bucket even more. 

And if others don't accept that light? Then we're not different than Nephi. We can still offer our light. Whether others choose to receive that light is their choice - and their decisions don't make us a success or a failure. They just make us one of the Lord's lighthouses. 

Sometimes stepping on dog poop is divine guidance

So I'll begin this with two confessions: first is that I've slowed way down on writing, and it feels like I've slowed down on the divine guidance I receive as well. I let someone's comments get to me, and they killed my passion for showing gratitude. It affected me more than I would ever recognize or admit. To succeed at something, you have to wade past the naysayers and their opinions. I haven't succeeded at that.

Secondly, this blog was begun to describe the easter eggs and gems that I find in the scriptures, then explain what I gain from them. This time I'm not doing that - I'm expounding on the gem that I found in life. Not from the scriptures this time, but from life.

Here's the story: I was doing my job - a structural inspection on a home. It was built on a hillside about 30 years ago. The two walls on the slope were showing cracks, and they were in the foundation as well as the masonry (bricks). The home was moving, but it was 30 years old, and the cracks weren't terrible. The home would probably go another 30 years with the cracks either not moving, or in the worst case doubling in size. Even that scenario wasn't too much of a problem. I was leaning toward giving the home a pass.

The client mentioned that there were cracks on the interior walls, so someone went to the front door, then opened the basement sliding door for us so we could get in from the back yard. I checked my feet before going in, and sure enough, dog poop. I tried to clean my shoes  in the grass, but before I knew it, everyone had their shoes off. Despite my foot problems, I inhaled and accepted that I was going to be barefoot for the next 10 minutes.

So now we're all barefoot in the home, and the lady noticed it first. A crack that was now felt in the concrete beneath the carpet. She asked me to feel it, so over I stepped in my socks, and sure enough. Then others found more cracks and holes, even something that felt like a divot. And it's new carpet and new paint. Why is that a problem? Because when the floor is falling and the house is moving, sellers will cover the floor with new carpet and repaint the walls to get the home sold.

He is a biology professor, and she's a professional mom. They don't like risk. They said they didn't like any risk. They decided to not buy the home, based on how broken up the concrete was beneath their feet. Given that factor and the movement in the exterior walls, it was enough.

Had I not stepped in that dog donation, we would never have taken our shoes off. My clients would have bought a home where the home's structural issues would not have been noticed in time. I think it was about a $700,000 home. Not a purchase you want to make a mistake on.

So how does the Lord guide us? Any way he can. And if that guidance involves dog donations? So be it. I think the people doing guidance duty for me probably had a good laugh about that one.

Come Follow Me: The book of John, Love and the Peace of Christ

Most of us would like our lives to start out weak and finish strong. We'd like the end of our lives to finish with sparkles and fireworks, and we all hope that our best days are ahead of us. For example, we tend to avoid people who can only talk about how good they were in high school.

But for the prophets and apostles of Christ's era, life starts as high as high can be: hanging out with the creator of the universe? To bask in his radiance on a daily basis? To learn from him, breakfast lunch and dinner? That's pretty high. Nothing higher - nothing imaginably close.

Then, the persecution and the deaths. One can only imagine Peter, John and the others knowing the ultimate importance of the Word. Knowing that it could save the world and every soul in it, knowing that the man they loved gave His life so salvation could happen - but it wasn't happening. Instead, what few believers there were? Those people were being hurt. Dying, or defecting from the truth from the fear of being isolated, injured or killed. Imagine your daughter or son being taken away by the mob, and having to watch what they do to her, all because you still believe.

John mentioned the fear that surrounded him, but he didn't focus on that. Instead, he focused on love.

As a much younger version of me, more than a few decades ago, I was fascinated by the subject of light and truth. I learned that this is a beautiful and deep subject that went far deeper than I could ever go. The poetic beauty of this subject is not one that I feel qualified to share, so I would refer you to your own, and to the assistance of the Spirit. This is one of the things that John talked about - instead of the fear that surrounded him.

What struck me today was a paragraph in 1 John 2: 28. "And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming"

As always, the words are well chosen.

I remember being a child and being told that if we thought we'd be uncomfortable having a prophet or apostle in our homes, then we might be uncomfortable living with Christ, and his prophets and apostles on the other side. The thought scared me. If a prophet came, would he let me watch my usual string of Bugs Bunny, Gilligan's Island and Hogan's Heroes? Or would they make me read the scriptures all that time?

I've grown since then - at least a little. If an apostle were to live in my home with me for a night, or a week, I'd be more ready to treat it as an opportunity. What could I learn from him in this time? How much could I gather from him before I started wearing him out? How would I know when to stop asking questions?

More importantly, one can go back to the poetry of the verse above. Imagine, as children, we abide in our God, every day, and every week. Imagine that we feel His peace, know His love and bask in his light and truth on a regular basis. If we already do that now, then why wouldn't we be excited to do it more closely with Christ when we've died? Shame will be washed away, and confidence will fill the room as we bathe in the sunlight of our Savior's love.

Credit: Greg Olsen

The answer to how to do that is also in that verse. First, we have to be like children: meek, humble, prepared to do our master's will. We must seek out and abide in his love. We can learn of his love by loving others, as described elsewhere in the scriptures. The more we love others, the more we learn of His love for us, and the more we become comfortable in His love.

The Peace of Christ is an amazing gift. One I've been struggling to obtain and keep. It's the peace that allows us to be comfortable in His presence. It's the peace that allows us to retain our center, and our happiness, when others around us are screaming. It's what allows us to stand our ground, even though we're being taunted, isolated, and having unpleasant words thrown at us. It's how we know that those who stand with us are greater than those who stand against - even though physical numbers appear to be the other way. It's the peace that we can keep when the loan is not going through, or when loved ones are struggling, or when someone we love has cancer. It's the peace that allows us hope and fulfillment of soul when the whirlwind around us is trying to take everything away.

Come Follow Me: The book of Peter

One can only imagine that Peter's life must have been terrible. First, he's known primarily for denying Christ. Then, he becomes prophet and leader of a church that is temporarily growing, but terribly persecuted. He knows that the converts he brings in, and that all other converts, will be persecuted, many to death. One can only imagine what kind of persecutions those may be, but it's not just words like it is now. Back then, the most evil and despicable physical punishments were fair game. And the government not only allowed it, but participated in it.

He was persecuted that way as well. He knew because Christ had told him that one day he would be carried away against his will and killed brutally. He knew that everything he was trying to build would fail, and that the cause he was dedicating his life for would be taken away by evil men, and used by those same men to cause evil. He could easily have given up, knowing that no matter how hard he worked, no much how much abuse he suffered for the cause, it would all be erased, eliminated, and taken over by the power of the adversary.

I can't imagine how life could be harder.

credit: darrowmillerandfriends.com 

He would die, his followers would die. The Savior of the world, the Creator of the world, whose words he was responsible for spreading, who he had known so personally, must have come to his mind in every moment. How would He see Peter in the afterlife, knowing that the word had died on Peter's watch? And Peter denied him too? Was there any hope?

But Peter knew there was hope. His life wasn't one of despair. Instead, he knew Peace. In Peter 3:14 "..If ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are he: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled".

I can see his followers thinking that it's easy to say that when it's not your children who are taken from you and butchered in front of your eyes. The thing is, Peter shared in the terror. We don't know what kind of terror until he was butchered, but certainly he was intensely acquainted with the terror around him.

James 2:20 "For what glory is it, if when ye be buffeted for your faults, who shall take it patiently? But if when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God."

Dang. So we're supposed to expect, as followers of Jesus Christ, to not only not be protected from the results of our faults, but not protected by Christ when we didn't do anything wrong? What is the point if Christ won't help you?

The point is that Christ may or may not cause or allow physical issues to occur. He may allow trials of whatever sort, but the physical is not his first priority. I believe it's about our spirits, our souls, our real meaning. I believe that if he can cause or allow us to go through something that may enhance our wisdom, our knowledge, our empathy, or our inner strength, then that's a win. That's His work and His glory.

Peter knew that. He wasn't filled with despair at all. He had all the reason in the world to feel despair, but he chose something else.

1 Peter 5:6 "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time; 7 Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you...10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 11 To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen...14 Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus".

Here is a man who knows the peace of Christ. He had learned that what happens outside of you cannot affect your inner peace, unless you let that turmoil in. This is something I'm working on: I understand it but am working hard to make it real for me: Inner peace is personally owned and personally kept. Outside factors are just that: they are outside, and must not be let inside.

May we all gather the peace of Christ that Peter knew. May we let our circumstances make us greater. May we know the Prince of Peace as he did.

Come Follow Me: James

Sometimes it's painful when the Lord wants me to do things differently than I want to do them.

I'm doing this blog because someone who I love and respect told me to read the scriptures, then write about what I find. This of course results in me focusing on what I'm going to write about - that golden egg that can change my life. The thing that makes my life better for having discovered and internalized it.

So today I was reading James 1, and hoped to find something other than what's in James 1:5. I'd find some other gem, and my mind would expand on that, and then I could share something new.

As it turns out - no, and yes.

I found something new, at least to me, but it was still in verse 5. Worse yet, it took me about 10 seconds to find the nugget that inspired me enough to write. Now the problem: I really don't feel like I've done my "duty" to read more. Should I keep reading so I can hunt more, and feel like I've checked the "time spent reading" box? Or should I go with what I've been prompted with? The same little voice that said "here's your nugget" also said something like "if you blow past this nugget, it might be taken away".

This fits with everything I know about getting gifts and guidance. If you get one or the other, and you don't appreciate and expand on the gift, or you don't follow the guidance, it goes away. That, and I suspect that it sets you back on what gets provided to you in the future.

So - James 1:5 it is. Here's the nugget: if you lack wisdom, you've got choices. Heaven knows that it's a difficult world out there, especially for us saints. The gay thing is

Holding to the rod when things get tough

So things are in a bit of turmoil in my ward. We had the ward mission leader visit someone who was leaving the church, and instead of helping the person who he went to visit, he instead chose to leave the church as well. And presumably take his family with him. This is especially painful to me because I know him and his family, and they are beautiful, bright and warm people. I don't know the man that well personally, but he has a good reputation among others whose opinion I respect. He was a leader - how could that happen? How could a person who so many thought had it all together, find a way to give it all up?

And then we get someone else recently who decides to join the wicken religion and be a witch.

All of this happens while the ward has grown large enough to be split into two and a half new wards. Our ward, though huge, is very close. The thought of losing these amazing people is really painful. That split happened yesterday. Each of the wards will go to different buildings, so we won't even see them in the halls. These are people that we love.

So last night, with friends were were talking about holding onto the iron rod, and how easy it is to lose sight. My friend's kids are all well raised, intelligent and extremely insightful. One of them mentioned that he lost a friend to Satan's cause because that kid (I wish I could remember the words he used, but I'll make a stab at it) "turned off the switch, and then said that there was no light". He said that the kid slowed down on his scripture reading because of an operation and recovery, then never picked up the habit again. Next thing he knows, he's proudly exclaiming that the light he turned off wasn't on, and that it wasn't there.

So I'm a slacker too - writing like this is how I motivate myself to read. Often, but not always, I read and then write blogs like this. I used to look forward to reading ever morning, and finding that super juicy and inspirational easter egg in the scriptures. I loved how I could find something in there and have it fill my soul enough to need to write about it. I haven't done that in months, and so I felt the need to grab the rod again.

credit: moroni channell

And - to my small surprise, I open up the scriptures to (wait for it...) Nephi's discussion of the iron rod. I love it when I get little signs like that.

So here's the scenario. As a writer, sometimes I try to pour my heart and soul into something. I exert every brain cell's maximum as I passionately pour my soul and my feelings into a paragraph. I try to make it as powerful as possible so that I can fill the reader's soul with light. And when it's done? I have words. A paragraph.It's still just words, and the vast majority of my intended meaning still didn't make it to the reader.

Nephi did that. In 1 Nephi Chapter 15: 24 and 25, Nephi tried to use those kinds of words. "And I said unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction"

I could write another blog about that word "blindness", but that's for another day.

Then in verse 25 Nephi pours out his soul. I'll let you read that yourself.

We must hearken to the word of God, and hold fast to it. There is also room to discuss what "hearken" and "hold fast" mean. For me, today, it means I need to be better about opening my scriptures and searching them regularly. It means I need to hunt in them, and for me it means I must write about them so I can drive the gems I find more deeply into my brain, heart and soul.

We can all do better, but most notably I can do better. I commit do doing that, and you'll probably be able to see how well I succeed.

Who decides who the prophet is?

After a long pause in my scripture study, and after realizing that my spiritual meter has taken a long pause as well, I have decided to make a change. Words with Friends is a good game - nothing wrong with it - but when it replaces the time I use to build myself and my soul, it becomes a problem.

Credit: inthecavityofarock.blogspot.com

I found Helaman today. The Book of Mormon generally is just easy reading for me. There's something extra direct about the word of God in that book. I opened to Helaman 13 verse 24. Helaman is the first Lamanite prophet. Up until that time, the Lamanites were the wayward guys - the offspring of the children who didn't get it. The Nephites were the good guys - or they had been. Here's the Lamanite prophesying to the Nephites. I'm sure they took one look at him, and even at the color of his skin perhaps, and decided that someone like that couldn't be a prophet.

They didn't know what a prophet was, and most of us don't either. He said "wo unto this people...ye do cast out the prophets, and do mock them, and cast stones at them, and do slay them, and do all manner of iniquity...". Then he went on to describe what they decided was a prophet: "behold, if a man come among you and shall say: Do this and there is no iniquity; do that and ye shall not suffer...ye will receive him and say that he is a prophet".

So they, and we basically decide that if what is being said appeals to our existing lifestyle, and allows us to sink deeper into our own comfortable pit, then that guy is a prophet. I'd say that perhaps the dude is not a prophet, but an excuse.

So how do you find a prophet? First off, a man is a prophet not because of what any person says or thinks. He's a prophet because the Lord made him one. If Joe and John both say that they are prophets, and billions of people think it's Joe, that still doesn't make him a prophet. If John gets one vote from the Lord, he's the prophet.

So if it's the Lord that makes the decision, how do we know? We're not going to appeal to the opinions of others, or even to our own physical or mental opinion. That's all coming from muscle patterns and neurons. Physical stuff doesn't get us there. Truth comes from the soul.

One of the greatest battles I run into is individuals who believe they can think their way into believing Christ and the gospel. This is like trying to hear a smell. Like trying to see a sound. You can try to describe using the wrong sense, but at best it's still an approximation.

To know if a man is a prophet, we must use our soul. If the vessel is pure, if the gift is not blocked, then the Lord will tell us who the prophet is. Then our duty is not just to know that guy is a prophet, but to seek and follow his words. There's not much use knowing that a shovel is a shovel, then not use it if you need to dig a hole.

Prophets speak to worldwide audiences twice a year. One of those moments is coming up. It's up to me to make sure I listen, knowing that they are prophets.

Things I learned from a pigeon

So first, a little bit of back story. As I began this blog, I was originally instructed to read the scriptures and then write about what I learned.  It caused me to read scriptures in a totally different way, and I learned and grew much. I learned to find those beautiful easter eggs in the scriptures, then as I found them, the writing flowed.

So today I depart from that formula to write about what I see. I am building a home. By all measures, it's my dream home. It's my wife's dream home, and when we move in, it would be my dream home even if it was a tin shack - I'd have the right woman to share it with.

So the entire east side of the home is pretty much all glass. There's a view there - perhaps one of the most spectacular views on the planet. There is all manner of wildlife, but especially birds - birds I've never seen before in my life, but they are there in great abundance on the back side - the east side - of this wood frame wonder.

I was there the other day running some wire, and I heard chirping and repeated failed attempts to get through the upstairs sliding glass door. It was a pigeon, exhausted, but trying and failing over and over to fly through the glass. Each time, a squalk of desperation, exhausted wings, and the same result.  Failure. Death was coming fast for this trapped creature.

But just a few feet to the side, there are four windows that are not installed yet. This pigeon simply had to wander over there. A few hops perhaps, and then the living would have gone back to being easy. Bugs, seeds, and all of the things that make a pigeon's life beautiful are right there. But our pigeon would die there if I didn't save it. Why? because it thought it knew what to do, would not try anything else, and could not ask others to assist.

I climbed the ladder to get to the second floor and looked at the pigeon. Now, pigeons are not my wife's favorite bird - they're loud in the morning and we have many on our roof where we live now. Right at the bottom on the totem pole of bird awesomeness.

But I looked at this one. Small, beautiful, elegant, and desperately in need. It was too tired to be afraid of me. It just sat there while I walked into the room, toward the bird and the door. I gently opened the glass door, and walked away. It took a minute, but then it happened, and I saw a couple of pigeons flying around together. Reunited in all of their pigeon happiness, and the day was beautiful for them again.

And I wondered, how often are we like this pigeon? Our life is in the swamp - we've trapped ourselves. It's not working, and we're desperate. Still, we will not turn to anyone other than ourselves. Whether it's pride that stops us, or a lack of belief or knowledge of the gifts of God, or simply stubbornness. Maybe it's an insistence that we've got ourselves into this swamp and and we'll get ourselves out of it - or die trying. And the last thing we want to do is admit that we don't have as many of the answers as we thought we did.

The Lord sometimes will come open the door for us, but I suspect that often he waits for us to request that the door be opened. Or maybe he'll go into our room and herd us (guide us) toward a window, hoping that we'll give up our old belief set and fly through a window instead. I suspect that if He just opens the door for us to make our lives easier, we learn nothing. And the next time we trap ourselves? We either become dependent and fail to grow, or are found once again in a life or death swamp - no further ahead than we were before.

It's not always about trying harder, or trying again. And this pains me to say, but it's not always about not being afraid to fail. Sometimes we just have to try something new - something we've never tried before. And sometimes our little bird brain just can't get us there. We have to rely on the Lord. May we surrender our will and do so always.

For thus it whispereth me

It seems like the most important stuff we do always takes last place. It's been two months since my last post, and I used to do ten a month. Yes, I've been busy, but not too busy to keep up on a dozen or so active games on words with friends. Sadly but not strangely, I've been feeling further apart from our Savior. I still know his voice, but I don't feel it nearly as often as I used to. I still have the will to be the vessel that reflects His light, but I don't think about it as much as I used to.

But there's always hope. With no ward choir this morning (mother's day) I have an extra hour. So what did I do? I finished my words with friends games, then turned to the scriptures. It feels like going back home.

I had more trouble spotting that easter egg, but I found a good one. Words of Mormon, verse 7. I know Mormon to be a great man, full of wisdom, and possessor of a life that I would never want. Still, he found his greatness, he filled his calling, and he knew the voice of the Lord.

In the early verses, he talks about finding the plates of Nephi, and he saw how they were written in until they were full, then the last dude quit. I guess that's an easter egg of its own - one level of being is to write until the paper you're handed is full. Another level is to fill the paper with what's important, then figure out how to go make some more paper. Hey, it's what the Lord had available at the time I guess.

So those plates are now filled, and Mormon finds them, and stacks them with the rest of what will become his book - the Book of Mormon. He doesn't consider himself an author - he's a soldier and man of God. He doesn't understand what it's all about, and he doesn't know what the next steps are. He just knows that the spirit of the Lord is telling him to do these tasks. Being a good soldier, and a prophet of God, he does that.

Verse 7: "For this it whispereth me..." How I know this phrase. Mormon was a good soldier, so when he got an order, he recognized it and he did it - now. He was a prophet of God, so when he got instructions, he executed them - now. And because he did so, the Lord knew He could give Mormon more instructions, and that they would be executed. This helps Mormon to save his people, and himself, and has much to do with why Mormon became a great man of God.

I love the language. "It whispereth me". I get that languages can put verbs and nouns in different orders, but this is unusual language, even for the scriptures. He's saying something unusual. He doesn't know exactly what "it" is, but he knows "it" is of God. He knows it comes as a whisper. In other circles that whisper is called a still, small voice. It's hard to describe, but the closer you align yourself to God, the more you know when you're being whispered to.

For me, when I'm aligned with my Savior, I call it my voice. I get that it feels like a whisper, but there's not a sound - it's just in my head. It is gently placed there, so that you have to be ready and aligned, or prepared to hear it. And then you have to act on it. Asking questions, or wondering if the source was really from God can result in orders lost, and furthers orders perhaps not received.

But the peace, and the confidence, and the love for self and others, and the settledness of a lifestyle that comes from following the voice? I have to say that the things I'm told, and the joy I get from doing them and seeing the results from others? That's fun! I love that.

And now I'm wondering why I spend so much time on facebook and words with friends, and why I'm not doing what's really exciting. I guess it's time to change my ways.

Humble Reaching: Having ears to hear

I listened to a talk in Sacrament meeting today about reaching. It was a powerful story, well presented. The speaker described her very imaginative and talkative five year old niece who was visiting temple square. A mall with fountains is found cross the street. This little girl looked at the black waters in one of the water features, and pronounced that Satan. The water was filled with black stones, so that gave the appearance of darkness. Then she looked at the fountains of water coming from that pool, and that water was clear. She decided that represented Jesus. This angel wanted to touch Jesus, so she climbed, reached and stretched and asked for help. Then she touched the water, and proudly proclaimed to all that were near that she touched Jesus!

A similar thing happened in this week's reading. Luke 8 describes how a woman reached out and touched Jesus. At that moment in history, people touching Jesus was not an unusual occurrence - there was a huge group of people, and all of them wanted to be close to Him. The difference was that they wanted to touch the miracle causer; the rock star; the new kid in town. This woman wanted something different. She wasn't about curiosity, and she wasn't about posting a selfie with Jesus. She had faith and a purpose, and wanted to touch the Son of God. She believed that He could heal her.

She also reached. She did what she could do for herself. Her actions included getting herself to the place where Christ would be, and positioning herself.  She had gained enough faith to know that Christ could do this for her, then she reached. Christ did the rest.

How different it is to acknowledge God, compared to accessing His power through humble reaching.

Another thing that strikes me in these chapters is the  phrase "he that hath ears to hear, let him hear". This is kind of the same thing as above for me actually - we all have arms, but few of us reach. We all have ears, but few of us want to know what Christ needs us to do. We'd love to have Christ show up and give us a clear path for what we need to do next - but only if those instructions fit our existing lifestyle. Otherwise? Not interested. And it would be convenient if those words that we want to hear from Christ didn't involve having to go anywhere to hear them. Just do it between my breaks at work, thank you very much.

I have discussed this in other posts - Christ protects us from ourselves by giving to us only what we are willing to manage. With parables, Christ can give great wisdom to those who reach for great wisdom, but if you didn't really want to know? Then he can hide what might have been damming to your soul behind the same parable. It's an act of love - not giving us what He knows we can't or won't handle.

And then a scripture that has always made me scratch my head: Matthew 13:11 and 12
He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.

For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.

So why would the Lord give to those who are already "rich" and take from the poor? Isn't that backwards? I thought it was always about giving to those who didn't have - isn't that right?

In this scripture, I believe that Christ wasn't talking about physical needs, but spiritual strength. Those who have ears, and listen, will be given more learning - because they listen. Those who have arms that reach for him will find him, and be healed. Those who want to get close to him for a really awesome facebook selfie with Christ? From them "it" will be taken away. We all have to be careful about that - are our motivations to get close to Christ, or to appear that way? Do we do things to check the box, or do we do things to show our love for Christ and to be His disciple?

I should probably quit here because it might appear that I view myself as "above", and that I'm preaching. This is not my goal. It's just what's coming to me as I think and type.

 I've spent a great deal of my life being very interested in pleasing others so I could have friends. I'm starting to learn that as I settle in to being comfortable with who I am, which is a disciple of Christ, that friends come to me. I'm grateful for that. Still a lot of issues, but I'm reaching. I hope that's enough. 

Come Follow Me: It's not about "getting through"

So we joined families to do our Come Follow Me lesson for next Sunday. It was interesting what expectations we put on ourselves. For example, one member of the group complained a bit about having six chapters to "get through". We have Matthew 10-12; Mark 2, Luke 7 and Luke 11. A lot of material.

Now, for me that's not a problem because of what I've learned as I've done this blog. I was originally challenged to read the scriptures for half an hour, then write for about 10 minutes about what I learned. What it has turned into is that I read until I find something that inspires me and compels me to write. Then I consider it as I write.

Priesthood meetings are much better for me lately. Our instructions are to sit in a circle, and have the group teach each other. It will be a surprise to no-one that many heads thinking and drawing from their experience is better than one lecturer and a group of chair sitters. I just congratulated my Elder's quorum president on his presentation - he is more of a choir director than a lecturer, and it becomes very rewarding to be in those classes. This is not a new thing necessarily - the Preach My Gospel manual has stated for some time that the most important trait of a teacher is his ability to listen. 

By contrast, the teacher who feels that he or she must "get through" the lesson is probably making the lesson about themselves. That's harsh, I know, because they would say their only desire is to serve. For me, the goal is not to "get through", but to deepen our souls. To improve our understanding, to gain from each other, and from the Holy Ghost. To recharge and enlarge our spiritual batteries. In some sense, a need to cut off a discussion that is doing those things, with the intent of getting through the lesson, is counter productive.

This goes me back to the beginning of this page. She was expecting to accomplish her goal within the time allotted. I was looking for gems, and places where we could discuss and learn. One is more check-boxy. The other is less check-boxy. One is about fulfilling self-imposed expectations, and the other is about spiritual growth and depth of soul.

I believe that when our goal is to check the box, we gain less. Much less.

Home teaching was changed to ministering to avoid the box checking. The change was made to align our goals with the Lord's goals: don't just visit them once a month - serve them. Love them. See them as the Lord does. Develop a relationship with them - take them swimming, or to the park, or four-wheeling with you. It was never supposed to be about getting an appointment on the 31st each month. 

I think it's similar with lessons and scripture reading. May we not just "get through", but may we learn to love the scriptures because it deepens our relationship with Jesus Christ - no matter how many chapters or verses that may take. 

It's a new way of thinking, and a new way to be. May we not just go to the temple so we can feel good about having done it, but go to be inspired. May we not just pray so that we did it, but to report in and commune with our best friend. 

It's better that way. 

Led by a woman - again

After the temple ceremony, and each time I go, I come away with profound respect for Eve. She got it - she always did. For me, and based on what I see and perceive, Eve was always way ahead of Adam - her role, at least partly, was to help Adam get it. What an amazing woman.

The fact that she is generally vilified among those who don't get it doesn't change her greatness one bit. Her greatness is. It just is. Opinions of those who don't understand doesn't change things. I guess that's another lesson that can be learned here, but it's not the direction I am going today. 

Then we run into Mary, Mother of Christ. Here is a woman whose greatness is generally recognized, but probably for the wrong reasons. Yes, being the mother of the Son of God is no small thing, but Mary isn't just someone else's mother - she is a spiritually deep soul who God the Father picked for a reason. Those reasons are not explored like they could be.

I love how Mary, like Eve, started things off. It came time for Christ's first miracle - turning the water to wine. As you read John 2, and watch the church video on that moment, you get that Mary knew it was time for Christ to begin his ministry. She was the one who understood that it was not just about getting more wine for the wedding attendees, she knew it was the beginning of Christ's ministry and miracles. She gave him the permission, the request, the authorization or the reminder that His time for miracles was now here.

It occurs to me that perhaps the two greatest moments in human history - the choice to leave the garden and the choice to begin Christ's ministry of miracles - was led out by a woman. They just seem to get it better than us males do sometimes. 

Christ was well aware of what was really happening, and his love and admiration for her was evident - even thousands of years later. His response was something like "I'll do whatever you say until my time comes". It shows great love and respect, and it reflects that he knows how things will end for him. 

Mary knew that Christ could and would turn the water into wine, she knew it was within his powers, she knew that he would do it for the guests, and she knew He would do it for both of His Fathers. She knew it was the beginning of a road that would end in pain that no mother could imagine. But she did so faithfully, perhaps even proudly, that it was now time for her Son to be who He is. The fear, the faith, the pride, the love and whatever other emotions she felt at the time can only be imagined. 

In any case, when an insurmountable problem arrived, she knew who to turn to. She did so immediately, and with confidence that He would solve it.

May we show that kind of faith. 

Come Follow Me: Lesson 1

Imagine this: you're a high priest, you're in the temple to do a sacred ceremony, and suddenly you find an angel of God standing to the side of the altar. Pretty cool huh?

Zacharias, the father of John the Baptist, found himself in just such a spot.

Now to be clear, this is a man that was described as just and good. This is the man that God the Father saved for such an elevated calling. Out of the billions of spirits that have lived on earth, God chose this man to be the father of John the Baptist. I expect that he must have been chosen for this calling because he was more than extraordinary.  How amazing would it be simply to have lived in this place, in this generation, and just see the Savior in the flesh?

So despite of all of that praise, here's Zacharias. Temple, altar, messenger. The messenger tells him that he will be the father to one of the most influential men ever to stand on the earth, and that his aged wife will have that baby. Maybe she's 60ish? 80ish? Who knows? The scripture says she's "stricken" with age.

And how does he respond? It's not in the category of "I'm so humbled and awestruck that I am seeing a messenger from God", and it's not "I can't fathom that I will be the father of such an amazing person", and it's not even "I'm so grateful that my wife, at her age, can be given a child". It was (according to the scripture account) "How can I believe you? She's old!"

Yo - Zacharias. It's God the Father. You know - miracles, all powerful, creator of the universe - that sort of thing.

It's easy to dump on Zacharias. For that moment, he chose doubt rather than faith, and was stricken with the inability to speak. But he was a great man, and if he's that great, where does that leave the rest of us? Will we doubt a spiritual manifestation? Or perhaps a better question is this: how often do we doubt or ignore a spiritual manifestation? And when we do, is our own soul made unable to speak in some way for some period of time?

The same thing with his wife, but perhaps to a lesser degree. The Lord's messenger tells her that she's about to give birth to John the Baptist! Her response? Oh good! Now I'll not be embarrassed about being barren any more!!

It's a bit bigger than that.

How often do we get to buried in our own routine that we fail to make room for divine intervention? How often do we ignore it because it's not part of our schedule?

And the biggie for the Jews - the thing that sent them over the edge, and made them marvel? It was that Zacharias and his wife decided to name their son John. This absolutely broke all rules. None of their ancestors was named John. You can't do that. You just can't. It's a rule - somewhere. This overwhelming break of tradition must have caused them to go full melt down.

We have traditions too. We have assumptions about how things should be. We have a prophet that's changing things, and indicating to us that just because something has been the routine, that doesn't mean it's eternal truth.

There are things to learn here: first is to listen for divine guidance, and then do what we're told, when we're told it. Right now. Even if it's un-routine or uncomfortable. In other words, if the message comes from God, that trumps all other factors. Even if it might be awkward to do it.

The second is that we don't know as much as we think we do. Traditions, assumptions, and general "knowledge" are not necessarily eternal truth - they're just traditions. We have to learn to separate out procedures from principles. That's hard - it requires us to be close to the Lord so we can know the difference.

May we grow within ourselves so we can have those divine messenger moments. May we gain the companionship of the Lord and his messengers on this side of the veil, as well as after this life. I can testify that it's worth it.